# 734 Green Dress Hash on March 20, 2014

greenhares1This week, our Hares Banana Basher and Cuff my Muff brought the pack to Beer Thirty Bottle Shop & Pour House.  This cool new watering hole in Soquel features good beer, large outdoor area and a fenced doggie play yard.  The hash proved that green is the new black and it’s never too late to celebrate St Patrick’s Day.  Whether you’re Irish or not, it’s an excuse to drink.  Hashers never need an excuse to drink.  And St Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland.  He’s a pretty cool dude in my book.  A few folks showed up at the bar, but didn’t do trail.  There was Ruby Red, Suck Cockran, and my lazy ass husband Waxi Pad.

greenpackTrail was 2.36 miles according to my GPS.  It went down Porter St, through the back door of JJ’s, out the front door of JJ’s and out to Soquel drive.  We crossed the street to Center St for a brief liquor check of Jameson.  Then continued back to Soquel, up the hill to Capitola Ave, where the FRB’s found a back check that said Bellevue.  The bastards made the pack turn around and run a half mile before they found Bellevue.  Shortly after that, there was a Beer Check at Lions Park.greenbeer

Religion was in the parking lot across from the bar.  Accuprick was RA and appointed Butt Balls his Beer Fairy.  The first down down was awarded to the hashers who did not wear green.  The 2 Virgins, Kathy and Paul showed up in street clothes.  Wicked Retahted demonstrated how to do a proper down down.  He’s had a lot of practice.  There were 2 Analversaries.

greencoolerBanana Basher was honored for his 100th haring.  He was awarded a Surf City cooler filled with PBR!  Whoo Hoo!  You think he would’ve come up with a better trail with all of that experience!  Cuff my Muff celebrated her 175th Surf City Hash.  Get a life!   Virgins Kathy and Paul told shitty jokes.  Backsliders, Barstool Bush and Twinkle Tush made them cum.  Speaking of backsliders, Barstool bush didn’t know where she’s been.  Twinkle Tush has been hiding out under a bar stool.  Butt Balls blamed the Japanese for why he hasn’t been cuming to the hash.  Bailas con Burros blamed Banana Basher for why she hasn’t been hashing.  The pack sang a sad rendition of Happy birthday to Just Lynette.  Dung Fu Grip was accused by dBASED of chivalry on trail.  He rescued the virgins.  They almost got lost at the back check.  dBASED also drank.  There was shit on trail.  Cuff my Muff kicked the shit on the sidewalk.  Twat Did You Say? either stepped in the shit or accused Accuprick of shitting on the sidewalk.  Electric Labia Land was called up for no apparent reason.  Accuprick dropped a beer bottle on the ground and drank it like a shotgun.  And last but not least, the Hares………….greenhares

On On,

Shallow Hole

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