Our Hash scribets have had had a perfect system of recently. They schedule Occasional Rapist when she is either on vacation or about to head out on vacation, so I get to do it instead. Last time Occasional Rapist was scheduled to be the scribe she was working from Las Vegas. This time she was headed to Rotan Honduras for a scuba diving trip in less than 36 hours after the Hash. I’m supposed to be getting some compensation for being her replacement, but it has not happened yet.
During this past Thursday’s Hash it had completely slipped my mind I was the scribe. I was reminded from Honduras on Sunday I had agreed. So, anything I write now must have been really noteworthy. Occasional Rapist misadventures in Honduras seem much more interesting right now, but you’ll have to ask her about those when she gets back. I am also interested to hear about our adventurers to Bay to Blackout. I am sure those details will be forthcoming soon as well.
Hash 743 started from the hotel bar of The Dream Inn called Jack Oneil’s lounge. The Dream Inn will always be memorable for me as it’s where I consummated my current marriage. Of course it is quite nice, so I’ll probably never have an occasion to spend another night there.
This area of Santa Cruz is turning into a popular hashing spot of recent. Of course we had just been by here last Saturday for The Red Dress run. Hash 733 also started at Jack Oneils and Hash 732 went close by. Hash 744, The Big Lebowski, this next Thursday is in the neighborhood as well. I am happy to report that at least hash 745 will be not be in the vicinity. It will be in Scotts Valley.
Today’s Hash was supposed to be set by Achy Breaky Snatch and step dad New Kids on My Cock. She informed me that since she signed up, he job hours have changed and she has to work 4:30 – 12:30, so will not be seeing us for a while. Twisted Fisted filled in as a stunt hare.
As I sat at the bar next to Cumz out my Nose at the start, she informed me she had spotted the hares pre-laying. Their comment was, it is fucking hot! Is not the temperature the same for the pack as for hares, or did the hares think there is a dramatic temperature shift between when the hares leave and when the pack leaves? While the hares were worried about the temperature, apparently the one thing they did not take into consideration was the tide.
While trail seemed to be commonly observed as a cluster fuck by the pack, I missed the fucked up part. There was a check in front of the wharf and a long ass false to Neptune’s Kingdom at the Boardwalk. I suspected the hares really meant Back Checked, so I headed up Cliff Street, then left on 2nd. I figured to hit trail somewhere by Depot Park. At Depot Park, I saw Hashers retreating on the railroad tracks. In my mind, this left one option open to the hares – take West Cliff Drive and return via Neary Lagoon. So, I took Neary Lagoon to where I had been the host for the hurricane check outside of Neary Lagoon for The Red Dress Run. No marks there, so I stuck my tail between my legs and took Bay back towards West Cliff, figuring to find trail somewhere along the way.
Back to West Cliff, and I still found no trail, so I headed back towards the last known mark and found where disaster had struck. I found pack marks towards the beach and Thmp-Thmp retreating. Apparently, there was a liquor check down a ways, and trail was supposed to continue on and up the stairs. However, the tide had come up since the hares were there, and the trail was impassible. That is, unless you are Puff. If memory serves me right, the last time a hare tried this technique, was Cockiss with Hash 100. On that day around 12 years ago, Puff wrote:
If we had the feet of a mountain goat, we might, and I mean might, just be able to scratch and paw our way up the rocks used as a breakwater. I’m not swimming to the stairs at Lighthouse Point so I’ve no option really. By holding on to the hound in front and forming a human chain, eventually all hounds reassembled on West Cliff Drive and continued westward ..
On this day, Puff decided if he had done it 12 years ago, he could do it again, and scrambled down the rocks to the stairs. All others retreated and looped around to West Cliff.
From there is was a fairly uneventful trail. There was a back check 7 and back check 11 though from our villainous hares along the way though. The trail looped through the neighbors, through Lighthouse Field to a liquor check (Whisky) across West Cliff and a back check 11 which Shallow Hole and I found. Shallow Hole and I grabbed the Whisky knowing no one else from the pack would come there. Beer check was soon discovered in the trees in Lighthouse Field.
Rumor has it, beer check was inhabited by numerous mosquitoes. However, I have been in many places in the world where many people have been attacked by mosquitoes and I have felt none. So, I noticed none.
Eventually, we reconvened under the railroad tracks across from the start for religion. RA number 1, Accuprick, was not there. RA number 2, Dung Fu Grip, showed his snout at the end but had not done trail. So, RA number 3, Timmy was elected and he elected Finger Nips as his beer fairy.
Pink Cherry Licker got her 69th Hash patch and she appeared to pickled pink about it.
We had one Virgin in Virgin Andrew. He’d heard about the Hash via friends in DC and found our local Kennel on the Internet. He told some lame joke.
He had travelers from afar (Lake Tahoe) in Dickens Chickens and Cheek and Dong. Cheeck and Dong has an interesting memory. He thinks his hash count should be around 25, but in fact, it is 4.
The On-On-On was a South Beach Pizza. May the Hash go in Peace!