As we received the trail announcement for Trail 792 we all pondered what these speed checks Dung Fu could be talking about. Was he bringing his junkie friends? No need since trail was in Pogonip, Santa Cruz’s most junkie friendly area.
As I arrived to trail start the cars were already stacking up at the entrance and as I approached I could hear the sound of a fiddle being played. I suppose this is better than some dueling banjos as we approach this wooded area.
Us half-minds crowd around TIMMY!!!s beer truck and notice there are new faces among us. First we meet Virgin Jennifer who as it turns out, was the player of the fiddler and entertained us again at religion with a ballad of domestic abuse. A true hasher in the making. Next we meet Virgin Pauline and Virgin Dan who couldn’t decide if he was a virgin or not. Turns out no one made them come, they are all self-motivators and possibly a little masochistic.
Dung Fu is spotted coming out of Pogonip from finishing up his pre-lay and quickly jumps into the explanation of a speed check. I still don’t get it, but it has lots of arrows in directions you may go and one is right.
Before we can ask any questions, Dung Fu is back out to solo hare the trail and the rest of us slug our beers and poke for at each other. Once the pack is unleashed we quickly come up on a speed check, first found by Courtesy Flush, who somehow managed to do trail without a stop at a local taqueria that night. Turns out the correct direction to go was up! Up and up and up we went and just when you thought you might go down trail a bit, we went up some more. Almost to the top of our trail we came across 3 mountain bikers by the goldfish (koi?) pond who were nice (smart) enough to not drink the horrible concoction Dung Fu stashed for our liquor check.
Finally we made our way to the top of our hash trail and then we started going down, which was welcomed at first but soon presented twisted ankles and sore knees. We passed the old clubhouse which was used in the filming of our most famous local movie, The Lost Boys. As we waited for everyone to finish we realized we lost a virgin. Some CAN’D guys went back out onto trail to try to find her as it was getting dark. Luckily, Occasional Rapist found her playing her fiddle back at the start of trail so we all headed onto religion which was held in the culdasac of a street behind Bocci’s.
I can’t remember much about religion, except that we got a ballad from Virgin Jennifer and two jokes I couldn’t hear from Virgin Pauline and Virgin Dan, probably heard them before anyway…. the pack finished up on-on-on at Bocci’s which I heard was hosting their heavy metal night.
On-On Half-minds
Ho to Housewife
