The season of gluttony is upon us and in us…..as quite a large number of wankers showed up to the day after thanksgiving hash which began at wickeds with bulging bellies and an insatiable thirst for copious amounts of hot red liquid, followed by cool yellow liquid, chocolate cake shots and some even braved the gallon jug of fireball despite the recent cartoon with a naughty elf.
Some people never learn.
The trail announcement was for 11 am…but in reality that was just the call to continue drinking…..cause trail started about 90 minutes past 11….but who’s counting. Something about Bakers forgetting his flour (I kid you not) and a chalk snafu between PCL and Fap??
Nevertheless,it was a glorious day meandering along the beaches and the lagoons casually admiring wandering egrets, coots and boobs.
In fact there was so much meandering going on that all of us missed the Liquor Check that Bakers Doesn’t lovingly set out accompanied by a cheap CD player and crappy speakers so that he could blast his favorite song “Bakers Street” by Gerry Rafferty while standing on Bakers Street in Santa Cruz imbibing booze, wishing he was far far away from Santa Cruz so he would not have to face the humiliation of the pack at religion.
For those who missed it…..and that means everyone – here are some of the lyrics to lull you back to your senses.
Baker Street lyrics…..you can hum along….
Winding your way down on Baker Street Lite in your head, and dead on your feet Well another crazy day, you drink the night away And forget about everything This city desert makes you feel so cold Its got so many people but its got no soul And it’s taken you so long to find out you were wrong When you thought it held everything. You used to think that it was so easy You used to say that it was so easy But you’re tryin, you’re tryin now Another year and then you’d be happy Just one more year and then you’d be happy But you’re cryin’, you’re cryin’ now Way down the street there’s a light in his place You open the door, he’s got that look on his face And he asks you where you’ve been, you tell him who you’ve seen And you talk about anything He’s got… blah blah blah………….enough already……turn off the boombox!
OK back to our regularly scheduled program.
It has been brought to my attention that ONE person in fact did find the LIQUOR CHECK…..but she failed to alert the rest of the pack…she simply stood there with her booze, singing along to a sad song…………while the rest of us had to trudge through miles of boring scenery. That person is DOH. Go figure.
Speaking of losers….thmp thmp thought is was appropriate to auto hash with his side kick 69. Hmmm, what were they really doing in that truck?
Beer check redemption was at 37 th street……not baker street. Where we cried in our beer, watched the surfers and let the dogs run wild.
Religion was held back at Wicked’s campfire with Accu and Dung Fu taking turns roasting weenies and crushing egos.
Our Liquor Check Queen Doh got no patch for 175 runs.
Slacker PCL got no patch for 200 runs.
Ho was our FRB, whining that she had to wait a full TEN MINUTES ALONE at beer check.
We had visitors….Grassy Ass, the painfully shy one from San Diego and other wordly brothels….plus a delightful just married ( 2.29.16) Tiny bitch penguin load couple from Colorado and the devilish red head Ska Skank from San Fran. Boy she gets around!
We had another female virgin called Nicole….we missed last weeks virgin wendy….yes, you were missed….only because you promised us tickets to the Santa Cruz Warriors. We must come up with a fitting punishment for ya.
Next week we start at Sir Froggy’s and we bring toys for tots….although they really want some toys for teens.