Monthly Archives: September 2015

Hash Trash #818 on September 10, 2015

818piratesPirate Hash II: Electric Labia Land’s Birthday

Surf City H3 has had some pretty memorable Pirate hashes.  It’s quite a sight to see a bunch of drunken pirates running around town causing mayhem and debauchery.  I take 1/3 of the responsibility for the shit show last year that included too much rum, lost hashers, water balloons, and a visit from the cops during religion.  This year, Electric Labia Land wanted redemption.  She teamed up with Fap Jack and summoned the pack to Ideal Bar and Grill on Beach Street.  The bar was packed with football fans, watching the first game of the season.  They were somewhat amused by the pirates.  We had a virgin this week- Virgin Brooks.  Shameless Butt Plug made him come!

Trail measured 2.61 miles on my GPS.  The first liquor check was 10 steps away from the bar on the sand. There was flour all the way across the beach to the boardwalk.  The FRB’s lost trail momentarily and ran through Neptune’s Kingdom and the boardwalk.  There was another liquor check outside in front of the boardwalk.  Trail went up through Beach Hill, down the steps to Laurel Street Extension and through downtown.  The FRB’s ran into Pink Cherry Licker on Pacific Avenue.  She had to deal with whack job parents at back to 818beercheckschool night and desperately needed hard liquor.   She was not disappointed.  There was a third liquor check on top of Oswald’s parking garage.  We got rum (and coke)!   Trail continued down the steps of the parking garage, through Marini’s candy store, across Pacific and down Walnut Street several blocks to the High School.  We went left on Lincoln Street, and several blocks down Chestnut along the railroad tracks. Beer check was in the little park near the entrance to Neary Lagoon.

Religion was held in the party room at the bowling alley. Hashers started getting restless until the pitchers of beer started coming out. Hashers were feeling the effects of 3 liquor checks! Peddifiddler consumed her fair share of liquor. She was in front of the windows flashing guys on the street. Broke Bench Mountain started walking across the tables.  Waxi Pad showed up after the football game.

Dung Fu Grip was RA and Fingernips was beer Fairy. First down down went to hashers that survived Interam Portland (Yours Truly, Waxi Pad, Thmp-Thmp, Princess Di(arrhea), Fingernips, Broke Bench Mountain, Cums Out My Nose).  Hugh Heifer and Thmp-Thmp drank for wearing white Happi Coats. All the hashers who did not dress up in pirate 818virgincostumes (Thmp-Thmp, Waxi Pad, Shameless Butt Plug, Drink N Squirt, Accuprick, Virgin Brooks and Today is Monday) were punished.  Virgin Brooks told a dumb joke.  Broke Bench Mountain got a down down for tagging Princess Di(arrhea) at a strip club in Portland. At least her relatives “liked” it. Peddifiddler drank for flashing guys on the street (and the rest of the room).  Thmp-Thmp accused Ho to Housewife of parking too close to his car. I was there! There was plenty of room! Rat Pussy drank for agitating the bums on the railroad tracks. They were quite friendly to us Harriettes. Visitors Today is Monday and Drink N Squirt were welcomed to the hash.

818scribesHo to Housewife and Yours Truly, were accused of neglecting our scribe duties.  Check out the timeliness of this trash bitches!  I just got behind because I was partying in Portland.  Cock Throbbin has been on the DL for months due to plantar fasciitis.  Ho to Housewife has been busy rescuing birds and bottle feeding baby squirrels.  Pink Cherry Licker drank for showing up late to the hash because of work.  She tried to sneak in with the pack with the FRB’s. Cumfartzone and Just Justin told a story about how someone stole their pirate flag, but they got it back.  The pack sung a  lovely rendition of Happy Birthday 818haresto Electric Labia Land and early birthday (9/15) for Waxi Pad.

And the Hares…………….

On On,

Shallow Hole

I am now caught up with my scribe duties:)

Hash Trash # 815 on August 20, 2015

M word 4This week Occasional Rapist and dBASED brought the pack to El Jardin. It was their 2 year Analversary of their hash wedding. And you thought it would never last. For those who were not in attendance, it was a hell of a party at Last Call Norm and Pearl Necklace’s house. There was a trail. Eagles got to go swimming where the San Lorenzo River meets the ocean and terrorize small children on the boardwalk. There was food a keg and dancing to Waxi Pad’s band.

815lcThis week we were supposed to wear white.   Dung Fu Grip sported his white Elvis outfit, but a lot of hashers did not get the memo.  Pearl Necklace made it out to the hash this week. My Garmin watch was having technical difficulties, so I didn’t track the entire trail. I estimate it was < 3 miles. We went out the back of the restaurant parking lot, up 7th Avenue, past Holy Cross Cemetery, to Soquel. We turned right on Soquel and made a left onto a little dirt road that led us around Harbor High School to La Fonda, and up through those neighborhoods.   There was a champagne liquor check in an alley. Trail then lead down Morrissey. We made a little loop and then back up to Fairmount to a beer check at John Franks Park.

815haresReligion was at Occasional’s Mom’s yard. There was a nice spread of cheese and crackers to munch on. Dung Fu grip was RA and Jizziki was Beer Fairy.  The Hares were called up first. Occasional Rapist was presented with a commemorative beer mug to celebrate her 50th Haring! The only problem was the inscription said the wrong date because a switch made on the Hare calendar. All the party poopers who didn’t wear white were called up for a down 815cutecoupledown. There were too many of them to count.  Some of the walkers (Fingernips, Pussy Wood, Hugh Heifer and Pearl Necklace. They were probably drinking and getting stoned. Pink Cherry Licker got lost because they were trying to “pull a dBASED” and guessed wrong. Ahhto Bhang Stander got congratulated for getting caught at 2 YBF’s. Dung Fu Grip drank too for being a FRB. Cumfartzone gave a little do it yourself tip for anyone interested in making a cock cage out of the top of a champagne bottle. Pussy Wood drank for being a backslider. She was chasing lizards in France and partying in Vegas and Tahoe. I’m sure there was some Ahhto Bhanging going on. She brought us chocolate with a toy inside. Thmp-Thmp celebrated 25 consecutive Surf City Hashes! Get a m word kisslife! Snapping Twat showed up at the end. She was too busy drinking elsewhere to do trail.

And the Hares………………

Happy Analversary!

On On,

Shallow Hole

Trail 812

Oh yes, you guys all forgot about trail 812 when poking fun at the scribes…. but don’t fear…. I remembered, and now you shall remember with me.

We started at Woodstock’s Pizza downtown on Front St where we stood way to close to someone’s sweet 16 party and had to migrate away from them to not get parole violations for several of our hashers.

Hares Pink Cheery Liquor and Fap Jack ran off jabbering lies that no one was listening to anyway.

Trail started out taking us down river then crossing us over the SL River on Soquel, where we took a left on Dakota, heading for Gangster… I mean San Lorenzo.. Park. We all made it alive through the park then ran smack into a YBF behind the courthouse. I’m sure we weren’t the only ones who have been in that area thinking how fucked we are. Turns out trail actually went behind Mahajara, the Indian restaurant on Soquel and Riverside where we took the levee trail over to Broadway/Laurel. Going back over the bridge on Laurel towards downtown we had not just a boob check, but a dick check right behind that. We wrapped around the back of downtown on Center then zig-zagged our way to beer near, held on the second floor of the parking garage behind Wells Fargo.

We headed up to the top floor of the parking garage for religion, where we invaded the weekly fencing activities of some Santa Cruz Merry Men and let us not forget the one merry woman who perhaps was not so happy to see us. Who could blame her though when one of us drunkenly punted a bottled water into their area :(

Cum Fart Zone was elected as beer fairy, Broke Bench Climbed and jumped off walls, DungFu broke his sunglasses and we learned that Tits N’ Game let us all know it hurts her knees to go down. She was talking about running you pervs….

We also celebrated some odd things. Timmy has had the runs something like 475 times, Hugh Heifer has had them 375 times and Cums out her Nose has had them 225 times. I’m not sure what you guys are eating but maybe less fiber will help? We also celebrated Princess Diarrhea’s 25 hares… girl, it’s called Animal Hording and it’s a real problem. I know people who can help you,

We also had 2 virgins, both compliments of Tits N’ Game! She did a fine job with her virgins as we got flashes from both!

We called up a bunch of other people for a bunch of other crimes too but you can look at the pictures and find out what those are. I have several other hashes to scribe and I don’t want to use up all my funnies too early :)