For the record….I did not do this trail….but I gleaned enough helpful nuggets to assist me in writing the trash. So here goes.
It was a drizzly wet day in the hood so some hoodlum decided it would be a novel idea to go hiking. That chap was Dung Fu….who has clearly lost his grip…..on reality and how to read a trail map. Even in this digital age his coveted GPS couldn’t save him. He started out early in order to scout the route….however he got hopelessly lost and turned around. Something in his gut told him he was going the wrong way and it wasn’t his vegan bean burrito. Instead of looking for an outhouse or as we country folk like to call em…a “shitter”….Dung Fu decides he is now training for Everest and ascends up to the heavens. When he finally realizes that he is in a different country he kicks into high gear and lets those 6 ft long legs fly in order to get back to the start before 6:33 pm.
I’m sure it was a wonderful hash along a beautiful meandering trail with overflowing waterfalls, glistening streams and naked butts.
Speaking of butts…..I saw the evidence – the infamous digital evidence of some half minds getting their weekly bath. And speaking of evidence we all got a harsh lesson in privacy thanks to our resident educator. Some things are best left unseen. Especially Dog Breaths hairy ass!!
I am now seeing a therapist over this tragedy.
As part of my therapy I am now required to fabricate “Pineapple Upside Down Cake Jell-O shots for the next hash. I think they call it “art therapy”.
I call it another excuse to drink!!
On On On