Every year, around April Fools Day, Surf City holds its Anal Lampshade Hash. This year, our Hares were the half-mind team of Hairy Fuck 2.5 and “virgin Hares” Thmp-Thmp and Princess Diarrhea. The pack gathered at the Rush Inn, for an evening of unbridled lunacy in Downtown Santa Cruz. Gotta give it to Hashers. They really know how to let their freak flag fly, by decorating their lampshades in their own unique style. Hugh Heifer showed up in a very creative cow themed lampshade. Choka-Cola and Hairy Potter, in celebration of their upcoming wedding, came sporting cute bride and groom lampshades. Hairy Fuck 2.5 and Cumz out my Nose had beer themed lampshades. Accuprick and Puff the Magic Drag Queen had matching gold lampshades. Great Barrier Queef had a cool shade that included a tiara and fuzzy animals. Broken Shaft made a Mega Millions lottery lampshade. Swiss Army Cock strapped a lampshade to his combat helmet. Twat did you say? Taped some dum-dum lollypops to her shade. Deep Stroke had the silly idea to put a light inside her little green cap from St Patty’s Day and call it a lampshade.
Hashers circled up in back of the Rush Inn, then meandered out to Water St, turned right onto Ocean St, through the Court House parking lot into San Lorenzo Park. Of course there was the official picture stop in front of Riverside Lighting. There was a fence to climb through a church parking lot. From there, the trail went back toward downtown, where hashers paraded down Pacific Ave and had to stop for a song check. As a final act of insanity, hashers took a short cut through Bookshop Santa Cruz to Religion on top of the River St Parking Garage. The sword fighters were there of course, and sensing this was a night to be crazy, they were all dressed up in their Renaissance Fair Knight regalia.
Accuprick was RA and appointed Great Barrier Queef his Beer Fairy. Down Downs were awarded to the non-runners, Great Barrier Queef and Cumz out my Nose. Accuprick brought up Wicked Retahted for not understanding Boston terminology. He thought having a “pissah” of a night, meant that he had to take a piss. Just Shane was recognized for having beer socks. Just Rosie was welcomed to her second Surf City hash sporting her riding club jacket from Texas. Just as the Best Lampshade award was in progress of being decided, our little party was cut short by the arrival of the Santa Cruz police! So much for keeping Santa Cruz Weird. Evidently someone did not get the joke and called the cops. We must look like a scary bunch of derelicts, because they sent 4 cop cars! Guess the April Fool’s joke was on us! Note that the cops were more interested in our consumption of alcohol than the idiots across the parking lot with actual weapons fighting each other! Anyway, no one got arrested, and we all went our merry ways to live and drink another day.
On On,
Shallow Hole