Hiya all….Just got done watching Giants kick ass into the World Series!! So I’m feeling good! OMG. Married Hashers make the best trails :)Trail 656 was fucking awesome! I loved the start at Bogeys at the Seascape Golf Course. It had literally been years since I crossed the threshold of this establishment, like try 20-25 (yes I am that old!) , and their beers we’re decently priced, $4 for good beer! Bushmills shot $6! This place is fancy but CHEAP!! Momma like! We had the chance to have a few newer hasher’s attend this fine evening. Leg over from San Diego H3, came along ( I liked to call her Leg over Miami!–it just sounds funny ok). Virgin Eddie, he was the friend of come backer newly named hasher= Shiney Snail Trail. We had a few back slider’s but none made trail to religion, they just either showed up before and after or just at religion. OK Halloween is like next week, but Canaidian Penny Slut likes to be wierd so she came as an Utter Moo-er Cow of sorts:) Now we think maybe she has a thing for the married Hash couple as the last time she hashed was their hash trail at Little Tampico’s (the mexican sombrero hash themed hash in Soquel) This was the first time I met Shiney Snail Trail and already I can see why she makes a great hasher, funny costumes and accessories! Ok this trail wasn’t too bad, your typical 3 miles , we got to see so much greenery, but the uphill kicked ass literally!! Liquor check was tastey, Long Island Ice Tea flavored liquor. It helped make the hill worth it! But I must say this evening was warm, clear, and beautful, an epic Aptos (fogtos usually) night for sure. Now I’m not one to like golf, but walking amongst the greenway was soothing. Made me want to get to know someone with a golf cart I could start driving. Lets move on to religion: Accuprick was wasted, he started at the Med. got a ride and was even giving himself down downs by the end of the night, right on Accu!! His beerstress fairy was Canaidian Penny Slut. Non-runner down downs =Canaidian, Leg over, Rod lover, Cuff my muff. Other down downs=Shiney snail trail for being her weird loving self (attire, accessories etc.), Hashsit vest wearer and down down=Leg over-she found an empty liquor bottle (um ya she drank that on her own I’m sure of it), did you know Leg Over’s home hash is in Italia!! Yes the Roma Italia H3, thats cool man! She says she’s never been married that she has been a professional “Engagement Girl” of sorts, ok well more power to ya girl! Virgin Eddie showed us his “Edtoberfest half ass stupid joker”, ya ya heard it, we wanted to see more of IT. OK and the hares……..The hares were so awesome to even think of feeding us, PIZZA rocked the house!
I think TIMMY! and PUFF TMDQ have some competition for best trail of 2012 (just saying:)!!!
Ok my hasher squad, this week you better get out your fuckin’ best costumes, we are celebrating HALLOWEEN!!!!!! Meet us at Pono’s (which is so fuckin’ ONO) at Union street. Shallow will give more details soon.
be there or be nothing!!
On On your own:)
This week our Hare Timmy!!! summoned the pack to the Parish House on the West Side. Despite the threat of rain, the weather held out and there were no soggy hashers. We had a visitor, Just Brian from Nashville, TN. He said he didn’t do anything stupid enough for them to name him yet. Rod Lover re-surfaced after a year and a half. It just so happened to be his birthday and his present was a threesome with 2 tender young things, Just Christina and Virgin Jaime. Not sure where Just Christina hashed before, but she came dressed to party wearing a shiny pink thong body suit over her running clothes. Virgin Jaime wore a green tutu and had no idea what she was getting into. Hugh Heifer didn’t care about anything except beer and the A’s game. Princess Diarrhea agreed to be her wing man and stayed behind at the bar to watch the game. Turns out they had the right idea. It was already dark when the pack set out. Masochistic Timmy!!! chose the hilly side of Mission Street for the majority of his trail. Aside from big ass hills, there was a treacherously steep downhill dirt trail, followed by a steep uphill trail. At least there was a bottle of tequila on the way up. We finally descended down Western Drive back across Mission Street. Timmy!!! must’ve felt remorseful, because beer check was at Santa Cruz Mountain Brewery. We were welcomed to an open tab for all the hashers!
Religion was in the parking lot behind Safeway. Hugh Heifer and Princess Diarrhea were there with the beer wagon! Accuprick was RA, and he named Just Christina his Beer Fairy. She was particularly fond of the Tiara, and enjoyed the first down down of the evening. Next we heard from backsliders. Rod Lover received a lovely rendition of Happy Birthday fuck you and a down down. Cuff my Muff showed up at religion in time to take a down down. She’s been at class on Thursday nights and thinks it is more important to get edumacated. However, this particular evening, she told the teacher she had a headache and took off. She was also congratulated for quitting smoking! How awesome is that? Deep Stroke was punished for her perversion. What else is new? She tried to climb into a kiddy cart in front of Safeway. Accuprick gave himself a down down for “cultural sensitivity” in recognition of National Coming Out Day. Our visitor, Just Brian was officially welcomed to the hash. Our very own GA Timmy!!! was punished for the crime of not remembering that I, Shallow Hole, was part of mismanagement. He blamed it on alcohol, weed and old age. Dementia is a possibility,considering he is old enough to be retired. Sounds like I have a free pass to make fun of him and spread nasty rumors about him, because I know he never reads my hash trash! For instance, I heard Deep Stroke is in the process of staging a coo against him to elect an all-female mismanagement for next year. Next, Virgin Jaime delighted the pack by showing her butt. We had the very unusual Surf City H3 occurrence of 2 namings in one night! Just Christina was sent away while the pack deliberated and brought back 3 snails she found on the ground, so she was named Shiny Snail Trail. Just Ted, a mathematician, was named Schlong Division! And last but not least, the Hare………………………
See everybody this Thursday 10/18/12 at Bogey’s Bar & Grill in Seascape Golf Club, 610 Clubhouse Dr., Aptos, where we will be in pursuit of the Princess Diarrhea and Thmp-Thmp, AKA “The Squirrel”
P.S. Get your costumes out for the Halloweenie Hash on 10/25/12! Occasional Rapist and I are planning a frightening trail for you wankers. And make sure you wear something you can run in!
This week, the pack invaded the Blue Lounge on Seabright. This little dive bar keeps changing names so it’s hard to keep track. It has previously been known as the Night Owl, 529, Cardiff Lounge, and Mad House. Thmp-Thmp was the Hare. We had 2 visitor Harriettes from a Okinawa H3, named Megasoreass and SCOUT (Shit Cums on your Tits). They moved back to the states and were looking for new places to hash. My Little Bony showed up, but as usual, he did not leave his bar stool. Six of Nine resurfaced. He said he was in Southern CA for a while, but came back to the area and has been working at the Renaissance Fair. He’s like a pesky rash that goes away for a while, but shows up again out of the blue. He brought Virgin Tracy, and Just John with him. Just Cecil (friend of Occasional Rapist), made a random appearance. We met him about a year ago at another Seabright hash. SpoogeBath No Pants got a rare night off from work and babysitting, so he came out to hash. Phyllis Driller appeared at circle up, but disappeared and was not seen again for the rest of the evening.
Trail was about 3.5 miles and took us to the ocean, yacht harbor, through some shiggy, a liquor check in Fredrick Street Park, through a church parking lot, a school, circled around Seabright neighborhoods until it finally concluded with a beer check at a house on Cayuga and Windsor. Trail was too long for Virgin Tracy, Just John, and Just Cecil, because they all bailed somewhere along the way and never made it to the beer check.
Religion was a Puff’s house. Occasional Rapist was RA. Hugh Heifer was appointed Beer Fairy. Our visitors from Okinawa, Megasoreass and SCOUT were welcomed to the hash. They enjoyed the trail and were happy NOT to be hashing with military people for a change. They brought an Okinawa patch to give away and SpoogeBath No Pants showed “skin to win” it. Next, we heard from the “Justs”. Which only left Just Ted because the others bailed. It was his 4th Surf City Hash, so lets dig up some good dirt on this guy for potential hash names. If he’s anything like his “sponsor” Slonad, he won’t show up again for 6 months. Backsliders, SpoogeBath No Pants and Six of Nine were punished with a down down. SpoogeBath blamed his disappearance on work and his baby and Six of Nine was just happy to get a free drink. The only thing the pack could come up with for a crime on trail was Just Ted forgot his flashlight. Racists were the next to be punished. Deep Stroke for training for her 100 mile Aids ride and yours truly, Shallow Hole for training for the NY marathon. Occasional Rapist was also incriminated for training for a sprint triathalon. And last but not least, the Hare…………………………
P.S. The Halloweenie Hash will be Thursday October 25th. Occasional Rapist and I are planning a frightening, shitty trail for all you wankers. More details soon!
It was almost the perfect night in Boulder Creek, with almost a full moon, we found ourselves at the lovely Boulder Creek Brewery. It was the un-usual pack, with Just Jeff, and Just Ted and backslider Slonad, Cum Lord, and Get up and run bitch, and Goat Blower thrown into the mix. When I arrived the hare pair Pussy Galore and Too drink to fuck we’re already setting trail. We downed our beers quickly and did circle up, Slonad got to wear the hashshit vest. This trail was a long ass circle jerk, we ran by the Junction park by the river, crossed Hwy 9 and ran up the hill, ran down a few blocks until a dirt path which connected back to Hwy 9, down Hwy 9. I guess we ran too slow as we already saw the pack back over on the otherside of hwy 9 so we ditched trail and crossed back over Hwy 9. We did pass a lovely church with beautiful stain glass windows, and before we knew it we bumped into the pack sitting on their arses sucking up beer! This was at BC elementery my dear, just below the cemetary-am I missing something here? Ok RA was Accu, his mistress of cervesa Ms. Goat Blower herself, Slonad got first down down for trying to sell his company flashlight on trail, dBASED for shedding skin on trail from his open (ok wrapped) moped rash wound, Too drunk to fuck got his first hare patch! Get up and run bitch missplaced Too drunk to fuck’s flour (butt he managed without it) Just Ted drank beer out of his shoe. I got down down w/ Nipple butt and Tiny Whiney Bitch for letting Nipple butt run loose and TWB for saving the day. Ok I can’t re-hash this anylonger, hope you learned a lot. This week we’ll gather at the Blue Lounge (not to be mistaken for the Blue Lagoon) on Seabright. Can’t wait to get beaten up by the next hare pair.
I’m watching the presidential debate and its stressing me out time for a beer….
On and On