Hash #738
This week we started of at Tacos Moreno in 
Crapitola. There was a special on pitchers, $10 and that includes chips and salsa, if you’re willing to wait half an hour to get a glass. We had a few visitors from the south, Scalded Squirrel and Bromancing the Mangina. The got to enjoy another beautiful spring evening here in Surf City.
The trail started of with a check that took us over to the mall, where we searched in vain, finding only dead ends and old shopping carts. Finally someone dodged traffic back across Capitola Road to find trial going that way. Did it make sense? Not really, but we found it. From there trail wound around the neighborhood. There were a bunch of “Amanda Jackson-Miller for school board” signs on people’s lawns. Fuckedoverfest dubbed her “Amanda Action Jackson). (But on a serious note please vote for her if you live in the Soquel School district. She likes schools and kids and learning and she’d running against a crazy-tea-party-nut-bag who doesn’t believe in public education and pushes her dog around the neighborhood in a stroller).
From there we headed down into Capitola Village. There was a false down at the end of the 
pier and even though they knew there was nowhere that trail could go, Dog Breath urged Twisted Fister to keep going down to the end. Maybe there was a liquor check. Maybe they were supposed to jump off the end and swim. Nope. It was a false. The liquor check turned out to be on the stairs going up from the beach. It was Malibu rum. Mmmmmm….tastes like sin screen and hangover.
We went up the stairs, across the railroad tracks, and into the jewel box for a bit, before 
ending up at beer check. As I strolled up with the rest of the DFLs (and found that Fap Jack had squirreled me away a Mike’s, yay) everyone kept asking, “Where’s 
Acuprick?” We hadn’t seen him since the beginning of trail. Wicked Retahted was missing too, but that was no surprise. I said that Accu was probably hanging out with his BFF, but others were skeptical until we arrived at beer check and there they were. All of Surf City should know by now that Accuprick and Wicked Rethated are thick as thieves. Accu’s story goes that he wanted to give Wicked a chance to be a leader and read the marks. That went about as well as you’d think it might and they wandered around lost for a bit before heading over to beer check.
Religion was held at the house of a friend of Occasional Rapist. Thmp Thmp passed out our new happicoats! They are awesome. We had two analversaries, Cumcerto at 50 and Thmp Thmp at 125. We had a naming, a
nd Just Janna will forever be known as Hooker on Kronix, Bitch. dBASED totally fucked it up in the Hash Count, but it’s still a very cool name. He left out the most important part, the comma! We decided early in the naming, that whatever the name it would be followed by, bitch. Dung Fu Grip decided to reward our host with a song “Her, her. Thank her,” and DogBreath rewarded him with a full beer dumped over the head. Then Dung Fu shivered. And the Hares! dBASED and Occasional Rapist were brought up for their shitty trail.
On, on, on was back at Taco’s Morenos.
On on,
PCL
The trio of hares for this hash, Pink Cherry Licker (PCL), Shallow Hole and Twisted Fister had us start at the Red Room downtown. By the time the hares had left for trail, the bar was packed! It was a great turnout, and most hasher’s did don some type of head gear that represented some type of lampshade. Wet Fereal Pussy was the most creative, and it fit her name (and her profession). Lot’s of people got creative in their style of decor. We had 4 new virgins: Aaron, Nancy, Marisol and Jeremiah! It was nice to see a few backslider’s also like Finger Nips, New Kids on my Cock, Hairy Potter and Choka Cola! Trail proceeded down the Pacific Mall by New Leaf and then toward’s the levee, on the far side down Soquel toward’s–you guessed Riverside Lighting & Electric, for our anal 
Lampshade Photo Check. We had instructions at each check where a small lampshade cup type thing had written instructions of what to do. At the photo check there was red plastic dixie cups that we’re passed out. Why? I got excited, I thought wow already we get a drink treat. But alas we just carried the damn thing. Running with a lampshade can be challenging to say the least, so many of us wanker’s did the walking thing. We headed toward’s San Lorenzo park down by the courthouse, past over Water and continued on the Levee until close to the Prison where we had Liquor Check. There was a 
giant ass Sky Vodka Bottle, and the first thing I thought was, I wish there was juice to chase it with. I mean what was all the fuss about wasting a red plastic cup anyhow? We can just swig from the bottle like we always do. Well in the end there was juice (what kind we’ll never know) but apparently we didn’t read the instructions enough or the chalk signs, as well before LC there was chalk signage telling us where the juice was (in a bush?). We then proceeded towards the Sash Mill, and up over the foot bridge over Hwy 1 (by Holy Cross Church). Once we crossed the bridge we realized BC must be near as we thought oh PCL lives close by! Sure enough that is where BC was! We all gathered in the dark in her yard drinking into merriment in our lampshade get-ups. I measured ~ 2.5 miles, 
with Just Daniel, many names we’re offered but in the end we chose, “Giant ASexual”! As it was discovered he likes the Giants and the A’s! Welcome to hash my man. Unfortunately (or maybe its good thing) Just Mike’s naming was shelved, too much information to name two in one night we like to take our sweet time! Next up the Virgins! Aaron said a joke I think, Nancy sang some song? Marisol told a joke too, but funniest thing of all was Jeremiah whom added “What is orange in the front, hairy in the back, and beautiful all over?” Then he dropped his drawers and showed us his orange cloth and white ass! LOL, a hasher is born. And the Hares! Thanks for the fun! On on we went to Woodfire Pizza where we made so much noise at our table we almost got kicked out, Trivia was going on, LOL, shhhhit.
