Happy New Year Wankers! Welcome to year # 15 of the Surf City H3. According to Puff, 43 Hashers attended AGM at El Palomar this year. Even Phyllis Driller made it out! I don’t think she signed up to hare any trails. Clownmydia was visiting from Portland. It was cool to hear insider stories about the making of InterAm. It was an epic event and a bunch of Surf City hashers were lucky enough to be there. 1500 hashers drank 302 kegs of beer and the damage bill from the hotel was only $5000! Pretty damn impressive!
Outgoing GMs Princess Di(arrhea) and Thmp-Thmp were Hares. Trail wasn’t much to write about. It was so damn short, that my GPS didn’t have time to sink up. It was around 1.5 miles around downtown Santa Cruz. Religion was at Oswald’s parking garage. Accuprick was RA and Peddofiddler was Beer Fairy. Outgoing GMs Princess Di (arrhea) and Thmp-Thmp got a thank you down down. A bunch of hashers drank for being short cutters. Give me a break! Visitors Clownmydia and Tongue Job were welcomed to the hash. Banana Basher, Tiny Wanker, Just Foot Pussy, Dirty Dolmas, Dog Breath, Shameless Butt Plug, Pearl Necklace, and Snapping Twat drank for being backsliders. TIMMY!!! celebrated his 500th Surf City Hash! Get a life! There was a boob and package check upon arrival to the top of the parking garage. All the non-flashers were punished with a down down. Too many to count. Dog Breath and Ho to Housewife drank for being prone to beastiality. Ho to Housewife saved a skunk and didn’t get sprayed. I am told there are skunk classes you can take. I think I’ll pass. Shameless Butt Plug, Pussy Wood, dBASED and Wicked Retahted drank for weak bladders and pissing on trail. And the Hares……..
Afterward, we all went back to El Palomar for the festivities. We ate a bunch of food, drank 22 pitchers of beer and 26 pitchers of margaritas! We spent a moment remembering Last Call Norm who passed away earlier this year, then relived the year of shitty trails with an awesome photo slideshow. With a tear in our eyes, we waved good bye to the outgoing GM’s Princess Di(arrhea) and Thmp-Thmp and ushered in new GMs Pink Cherry Licker and Fap Jack and a new group of mismanagement. Cheers to Rat Pussy, Deadliest Snatch and Pussy Wood for taking up mismanagement positions this year! It takes a village to run the hash.
Here is your new Mismanagement:
GMs- Pink Cherry Licker and Fap Jack
Beermeister- Rat Pussy and Deadliest Snatch
Hare Raiser- Twisted Fister
Haberdasher- Occasional Rapist
Social Sec- Thmp-Thmp and Princess Di(arrhea)
Scribes- Shallow Hole, Ho to Housewife and Pussy Wood
Religious Advisors- Dung Fu Grip and Accuprick
Best Trail: #813 Dung Fu Grip and Ho to Housewife- Sinking ship across Antonelli Pond
Worst Trail: #780 Ho to Housewife and Dog Breath’s 7 mile trail with the crazy lady with the gun.
Stupidest Act: dBASED for talking about an orgy during the eulogy at Last Call Norm’s funeral in front of her family.
Biggest Wanker: Wicked Retahted
It may have been a coincidence, but mysteriously a large group of hashers who attended AGM received a lovely parting gift of a nasty cold. Blame the cold weather, sharing of down down cups, or maybe even a nameless restaurant worker. We all got sick and it sucked balls!