Hash 916 – TIMMY’s annual torturing of the troops beneath the trees

West Remote Parking lot Deja Vu.
Weren’t we just here?
Oh yeah, we were just there and school was still in session so it was a bitch to find a parking space.
Is that enough flour?

Is that enough flour?

This may be the only nice thing I say about Timmy – he was sober enough to pick a date for his haring adventure that was actually after the school year and thus saved us much stress and aggravation…at least in the parking department.
As to the trail department….well that is another story entirely….which I will only recount bits and pieces.
I am sure he had good intentions, but after hopping several fences and scaling hillsides and dealing with the ever annoying checks –  some of the wankers were lead to a precipitous cliff edge with no visible safe trail to descend. All the clumps of flour led to this spot….but it was quite steep and unsafe…Not to mention the whole place was covered in Poison Oak.
I really thought I was on a Bear Gryls outdoor adventure test. I sucked it up and tried two different routes but after 3 failed attempts I gave up. Nevertheless some fools(Dog Breath and Dung Fu) disregarded my warnings and they leaped off the cliff and others (Pinky) must have slid down on their backside.

Chalk Talk

Chalk Talk

Miraculously no ambulances were needed, however Pinky took a mud bath of sorts to attempt PO removal. She learned that technique on one of the popular survival shows.
Maybe we all were on a survival mission and thus the overhead drone was secretly filming our adventures as we talked into our camouflaged hash name necklace microphone.
Perhaps those wandering cows were just the TV producers hiding inside a cow costume. Did you see the size of those cow pies? Pretty realistic if you ask me.
Shallow looks like she knows how to climb up on some wood

Shallow looks like she knows how to climb up on some wood

Back at base camp we forgot about the gruesome trail as we shared some trough start beers co-mingled with the religion beers. Who cares as long as we have some friggin beer.
So hard to keep all those different beers separated. Damn renegade beers……..to go along with the renegade cows and the damn renegade hare.
We had a few virgins hell bent on joke telling. Really…..These days is everyone a comedian??
Do they read up on the joke of the day website before they show up at their first hash?
For God’s sake how hard is it to drop trou?
We also chastised Timmy for the missing liquor and beer check.
After that letdown, we had some more sad, sobering news that our fearless RA – Religious Adviser- Dung Fu – is leaving us.
Terrified just looking at this photo!

Terrified just looking at this photo!

Was it something we said?

Was it the fact that nobody listens to you as you try to scream above the chatter and the din of drunks in a field, drunks on a railroad track, drunks on a bridge, drunks in a playground?
Are you feeling taken advantage of like a cheap whore?
You just give and give and give until there is nothing left in the keg?
You ingrates, you miscreants, you saucy savages, you cry and scream to yourself.
Dung Fu simply can’t take another minute of these whiny bitches and therefore he will be taking his bad ass self out of state. He is leaving and going far far away from you disrespectful weirdos. His passport has been renewed and he is flying the country of Cali.
Baker's dozen't hears the ghosts of wankers past

Baker’s dozen’t hears the ghosts of wankers past

Well not really….I just embellished this a bit…….but he really really is leaving and now we need to re-supply our Kleenex box because there was not a dry eye in the pasture after his announcement.

If anyone else is brave enough to step up as a temporary replacement, then do so at your own risk.
Otherwise……..safe travels.
On On On
CumFartZone
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