Hash 934: Last Minute Lazy hash

Since most of the pack is away…..the mice will play! Come to Capitola to see the full moon rise….and I don’t mean we will be dropping trou…..well maybe we will….cause you never know around here. We will scamper around this quaint and colorful village by the sea, leave our droppings and annoy my neighbors! I might even have some tasty snacks to entice you to cum out and play.
That was the hash invite. I guess all that electrical stim did something to my naughty bits and made me sign up to be a last minute co-hare with Pinky.  Why do I get myself in these predicaments? I just can’t say no…especially if they beg!
So a few of us outcasts showed up at the Brit. Wicked rode his bike over from the Point but forgot his bike lock….so I climbed the dreaded Capitola stairs yet again to bring him a bike lock. He is forever indebted to me. My thighs were throbbing from those stairs. Maybe a massage is in order rather than a lame thank you note.
Two lonely FACU members showed up as their pack also abandoned them for some stupid event called InterAm in Phoenix. Dual Tools and Shanhainey quickly bonded with their orphaned Surf City brothers and sisters. Somehow we managed to assemble a small pack for the evenings festivities.  Cum You Will Not and Jizz were also happy for the company from over the hill.
Steamy Baanorrhea rose to the occasion and offered to hare the Eagle trail. He even had his emergency kit of flour in the car which made him the official 3rd co-hare.
For a last minute hash we assembled about 18 half minds to play hide and seek.
Pink and CumFartZone quickly mapped out a route….and Steamy ran off on his own and almost got arrested at the Capitola Police Station with his 2 overflowing water bottles filled with a mysterious white powder. He also just escaped a hare snare as well at that location. He diverted his path and went on his merry way. Lucky guy.
Meanwhile Pinky did some sort of a loop around the village hoping to reconnect the second part of the trail with CumFartZone’s trail. She got a little sideways but reconnected at the entrance to Depot Hill where all three trails finally converged. Talk about a cluster fuck!  CFZ got hopelessly lost in her own hood as she attempted to point out all the charming features such as the rising moon and the large bird sculptures made out of shells. While she was flailing around several hashers snared her but she went giggling off into the darkness once again.
At beer check we were joined by three foreigners who quickly discovered that they could score free beer by just merely practicing their strange accents. I think Real Boring Bitch had something to do with their appearance. If nothing else they provided us some great entertainment at Religion.
Poolside religion is always interesting and Dog Breath always manages to get wet. Thankfully he left his undies on as to keep my neighbors from calling the cops….again!!
The virgins were visiting from Sweden. One told a terrible joke about ribbon benches ( I think he meant benches with wooden slates) in which a naked guys penis and balls are pulled through the ribbons/slates. I can say no more, as the joke was really gross.
The second bloke sang The Saints Come Marching In in Swedish, and the third dude sang a Swedish military song about keeping Sweden white. Hmmm how timely and racist! Perfect for Santa Cruz. We just laughed and smiled politely as they swigged more of our beer.
On to our official business….Bakers Dozen’t had 25 CONSECUTIVE hashes and he got Pinky’s “Toser” necklace. That’s another story for another day. I am not really sure what that necklace is all about. Maybe she will tell you next time.
Real Boring Bitch was on his phone trying to show the Swedish guys a picture of IHOP – the visiting hasher with the artificial leg.
There was talk about nominating some new folks for some old jobs….we need a Beer Meister or two. 
Step up to the plate and volunteer for a good cause.
Elections aka erections will be NOV 9 at El Palomar.
The party continued at the Brit for more food and more beer and laughs.
All in all a good shitty last minute lost in Capitola Hash.
On On On,

Leave a Reply