Halloweenie & Puff’s 700th Hash


Occasional Rapist is supposed to be your scribe here, but she asked me Friday morning if I wouldn’t mind doing it. Seeing as how she didn’t do trail and and didn’t make it to religion, my faint remembrances will be more lucid than her non-attendance.

Occasional Rapist and I started the evening by attempting to be good citizens. We tried to take the bus. Tried. Route 71 is supposed to come every 30 minutes in the evening. The first bus obviously never showed. For the second bus, we had a routine rider waiting with us. When it was 5 minutes late and he had a friend stop to give him a ride, we hitched one as well. It seems the hares had left about 5 minutes before our arrival. Timmy was outside Reds (aka Banana Basher‘s former sports grill) giving a chalk talk.

Wet Ferral Pussy had a giant costume which I thought was a mushroom, but later learned it was a Jelly Fish (makes me think of a line from Rock Lobster). WaxiPad and Shallow Hole appeared as their alter ego’s – Glam Rockers. There were a few pirates, and of course there were too many Puff impersonators to be counted. We also had numerous visitors from near and far who seemed to have heard that Santa Cruz was a cool place to be on Halloween. They were right.

I had heard this was going to be a short trail. Perhaps by recent Surf City standards it could have been deemed a “shorter” trail, but I would never call it short. I measured it as 2.76 from start to beer check. In fact, by Surf City standards in the early years, this would have approached the long trail standard.

Trail started through an alley way of sorts by Reds, then over to a real alley nearby, then up Green Street. This was the first hash I’ve been healthy at in 2 months and I suddenly became an FRB. Then it was up through Mission Plaza and over the freeway. As we passed over the freeway, I knew religion was close by, so I figured we were soon to approach beer check. Boy was I wrong. After crossing the bridge, it was true trail to the right paralleling Highway 1. I figured beer check was at the cemetery.  As we approached the cemetery, I saw lights and music in the distant. I figured that’s it! Boy was I wrong.

In the cemetery I noticed a small problem. My flashlight didn’t work. Fortunately, other FRB’s had caught up by then, so I used their light to traverse the cemetery. There was a check just past the cemetery, but there was only 1 logical place to go from there – up through Wagner Grove. Others around me with flashlights seemed uncertain where we were headed, but I knew, and up, up we went through the darkness. Later I was to find that Pink Cherry Licker wimped out going through Wagner Grove. In the summer she works at the bottom and was too scared to go through in the dark.

In Wagner grove we found a beloved “LC” mark. However, no liquor was discovered. Apparently it was stolen before the pack got there. That’s the second time a liquor check has been stolen here!

Someone in or around Wagner Grove asked who Wagner grove is named after. It appears to be named after John Wagner, who’s heirs sold the property to the city of Santa Cruz in 1959.

At the top of Wagner grove, we headed through neighborhoods of trick or treaters. I thought we should stop for candy ourselves.

Before Highland quickly descends to High was the only confusing check of the night. The stairs had a false at the bottom at the of them. That meant there was only one other way to go (down Highland), right? Wrong! The pack I was with descended down Highland. Timmy claimed he saw flour going down., However, at Highland and High there was nothing. It appears the pack proceeded up High and found trail. However, I alone decided to go back to the check and find The Way. The Hares found a clever passage down a driveway and down some apartment stairs, When later asked how they found it, Thmp-Thmp said “Google Earth”. This passageway included the letter STFU. Later I was learn that means “Shit The Fuck Up”.

Finally to High street, it was quick jaunt to Pink Cherry Licker’s abode, for which I had never been to. While I arrived by myself, I believe about half the pack was already there. Most amazing to me was that Wet Ferral Pussy did the entire trail in her giant Jelly Fish costume and arrived not too long afterward.

After the beer check we jaunted around the corner to Dirty Dolmas house. However, Dirty Dolmas was not there. She was off gallivanting (if you can call it that after foot surgery)  with Wicked Retahted and Occasional Rapist downtown. So, we peed on the carpet, shit in the yard, raped the dog and raided the refrigerator.  After that, Accuprick proceeded over down downs with Hogasm as his beer ferry.

Downs were rather a mad house with too many distractions to pay attention. I started on the swing with a group of Hashers huddled together to stay warm. The first order of business, and the only import business, was congratulations to Puff for 700 Surf City Hashes. Did he get a patch? I imagine so, but I didn’t see it as he would be giving it to himself.

We had virgins in Maria, Daniel, and Sal.

We had visitors in Cheek and Dog, Dickens Chickens and Doggie Style.

We had a butt load of Puff impersonators. The best being Dung Fu Grip and the wost being Twisted Fisted.

We had an extreme backslider in Portholeo.

We had a naming, just Christina is now Achy Breaky Snatch. I still like Spank Bank better.

Best costume went to Wet Ferral Pussy.

And of course the hares. After that we were off to the freak show downtown and finally to Tampico.

To end my evening, the bus was right where it should be and I met Occasional Rapist at home who had taken the bus one hour earlier. She said she left downtown early because she was tired of guys grabbing her ass. And, after I returned home, there was much rejoicing.

A small picture of Timmy

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