The hash this week fell perfectly on a holiday white people love to culturally appropriate by drinking margaritas!
Our hares Hugh Heifer and Ho to Housewife (quite the alliteration there!) started us out at Tampico which is unfortunately on its death bed and scheduled to close this month. Quite the pack showed up for this particular hash and plenty of tequila was imbibed. As I was waiting for my drink I was standing at the bar next to Wicked Retahted. He was rather inebriated and told me to come closer so he could whisper in my ear “You’re the prettiest girl in the hash….except for me!” and proceeded to do one of his giggle and hair flips that I know you can all picture right now. It was amazing.
The pack got going and we were first led down towards the wharf, we hit a pretty solid YBF on second street and then carried on up west cliff and through the neighborhoods. Except for Cumfart Zone, Vaginal Repair Kit, Bacon Queef, Occasional Rapist and Tits n game who decided to short cut straight to beer check! Those of us who didn’t skip out went through the neighborhoods and were led through lighthouse park (we completely missed the turkey eagle split!) We saw a pack arrow so perhaps someone led us astray.
Who knows! Either way I ended up on turkey, apparently eagle was a solid 3 miles longer (sheesh!) and I was very appreciative of the bathroom stop which a hare had written “you’re welcome!” outside of. We made it down to an overlook by Cowell’s for beer check which had a lovely view of the sunset over Santa Cruz.
We then meandered on back to Religion at the top of the Oswald’s parking structure. I shared Wicked’s hilarity which he was not even there to get a down down for. Finger nips fucked up a song, not once, but twice! and she had to drink for it. Rat Pussy and Just Foot Pussy were called “Putas” by a bunch of kids outside of a church, that’s pretty awesome. Our short-cutters got their justice. Gator bait Shallow Hole got to drink for backsliding from Louisiana all this time. Occasional and New kids also got to drink for backsliding. Bareback got a down down for being late and her man Courtesy Flush got a down down for putting the “ass” in “class” mooning us all from Hugh Heifers truck window. Overall a pretty shitty trail as expected and we made our hares drink for it!