FACU style trail (hash 895)

I’ve purposely not signed up to be a scribe and probably never will, and here’s why. I know I’ll pick up the slop. On the way home from this weeks Hash Occasional Rapist and I discussed whether there was a scribe or not, and that I’d be willing to do it if no one else signed up. So, there you go.

In my last write-up, 2 weeks ago, I was discussing people who were not there and missed discussing two. They were there this week, but that doesn’t change any thing. First, is Dog Breath – international man of mystery. Rumor has it that whenever he is not at the Hash he is starting a war somewhere. All must have been quiet on the Western Front this week, so he made a guest appearance. The last thing I want to say about Dog Breath is that I have heard reports that more than 1 Harriet has discovered some of the Dog Breath’s mystery, including a virgin he appeared to have deflower at my house a few years ago.

Second is Banana Basher. My thoughts on Banana Basher is he flips a two headed coin with Bailas Con Burros each week as to weather can come to the hash and she gets to call the coin. This week Bailas Con Burros must have thought the promise of a FACU style trail was safe for his bulkyness and he was allowed to attend. However, I’ll note she has a very short leash as he left before down-downs.

The next Hasher of honorable mention is Thmp-Thmp. The hares had promised we might see a groundhog, and Thmp-Thmp provided the groundhog as himself in what other weeks would be considered a squirrel costume.

The last Hasher to have honorable mention is Puff The Magic Drag Queen. My last write-up was his last hash to attend. He started a new streak at 1 this week. However, as of this writing, travel outside of Santa Cruz county is perilous. So, if he makes it out on Thursday, who knows if he’ll make it back. For those that want to read about last time Puff missed a hash click here.

This weeks Hash featured one the founders of the FACU hash, Accuprick, as one of our hares. His co-hare was his (very) close friend Butt Balls. We were promised food on trail in a dry location and more food at the end. While the hares provided lies about trail, other Hashers tried to maim each other with giant Jenga blocks.

Trail started into the neighborhood on Seacliff drive.  Now, if you are going to do a short trail, there are two alternatives. The first is go down Beachgate way and take the trail to the beach. However, there is a giant sink hole on that trail right now and the trail is closed. There was a giant false right in front of that trail that somehow Dog Breath missed. He was awarded a down-down at religion for missing it. The second alternative is to double back to State Park Drive somehow, which is exactly what we did. From there it was over Highway 1, and could we be headed any place other than Butt Ball’s garage?  The FRB’s did a little clockwise loop through the cemetery and nearby neighborhood. The rest the pack made a beeline for Butt Balls house.

There we were rewarded with a supposedly vegan Curry soup courtesy of Fap Jack and chicken wings from Lil Anal Annie. The soup was quite spicy, but quite tasty. Occasional Rapist tells me she asked for the recipe, so I am hoping to sample it again soon.

After the food was gone, the hare’s asked if we wanted a trail back, or just a straight on in to religion behind Point A. A straight On-In was universally expressed.

At religion we had one significant back slider. That would be Puff. When you don’t miss a trail for nearly 15 years, 1 is a big deal.

There were also numerous anniversary celebrated. Courtesy Flush and Genital Tongs for 50 and Just Foot Pussy and Bacon Queef for 75.

There was also the lost dog/lost Hasher debacle with Just Alisha and Just Kem. First the dog was missing, but quickly discovered. Finding Just Kem was another matter.

After religion it was back to the Med for more food! This time our chef was Jizziki who provided some sort of Tofu dish and something else I cannot remember. And, the Med also featured more attempts by Hashers to maim each other with falling bricks (Jenga).

My last order of business to discuss this week’s upcoming trail. One of our hares is Dung Fu Grip, or perhaps he should be better know as the bearer of rain. We’ve had two exceptional rainy Hashes this season and Dung Grip was a hare for both. It appears he will be doing it this week. Perhaps all California needed in the past was for Dung Fu Grip to hare more often! Dung Fu’s consort for the evening is Ho To Housewife. We’ve not seen much of her of late and the last was within hoofing distance of her abode. Will she be able escape Scotts Valley on this rainy evening? The last two times these jokesters set trail  from the Boardwalk bowl it was the same trail and no one followed all of it either time. This week they are going for the three-peat.

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