Hash 932: Mawwiage

 

Holy Sweet Matrimony, Wedded Bliss and all that Crap.
So DBased and Occasional tied the knot four years ago in some secret ceremony.Since none of us were invited to the actual wedding they decided to let us all in on their extreme love drunk escapades by re-enacting their honeymoon by inviting all of us to trudge around in the darkness searching for some cheap champagne and a confetti condom. We all wore headlamps as a show of solidarity to DB for his valiant effort to find the hole. I am sure that there was some sort of Geocache type prize in there. You know he likes to go on wild goose chases and sign his name on a tiny scraps of paper as proof of his finds. Most likely he tattooed his name down there so he can gaze upon his precious treasure every day!! I think he may be a bit obsessed with that game. Then again he is also obsessed with Hashing too. I think there is a pattern here.
Anywho……..We all gathered in force to celebrate the momentous anniversary but first had to decipher some navigational way points in order to find the start.
Gosh darn this game thing can be a bit annoying. My Uber driver was less than thrilled.
Can’t just give us an address…….NO Sir…that would be too easy for us half-minds. Gotta make us work for our beer. Speaking of beer…..it was stuck in traffic………along with most of us. So much for living in a sleepy little beach town.
Once we all managed to find the start off we went…..through the woods and over sandy hills. We were treated to a most spectacular sunset and a few stopped for photo ops.
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Back on trail we found the dreaded railroad tracks again….however we were pleasantly surprised to find them needle and litter free. Capitola sure does know how to discourage the riff raff.
Beer check was staged at a lovely little overlook and the champagne was flowing, along with Dbased’s little sweet nothings which he kept whispering to his glowing bride.
I just envy them….such a perfect couple!! And he is so so affectionate. Too much PDA is never a bad thing with them.
Back at religion we officially celebrated their anniversary to the tune of El Camino….which seemed appropriate at the time.
We also celebrated the year’s Beer Meisters: Thump Thump, Princess, Just Foot Pussy and Bacon Q and I think Broke Back and Cums was mentioned as well. Sorry but I was a bit too looped from all the bubbly to take accurate notes.
Then they called me up there for something….I have no clue why but I gladly drank some of the shitty beer just to be a good sport.
Pinky screamed on trail – actually it was on the RR tracks just after we left Beer Check. We thought it may have been Occasional getting some in the bushes but sadly it was just a huge rat running for his life, away from the Hashers.
So Rat Pussy and Pinky got a down down.
Shallow Hole celebrated a mere 269 hashes…Get a Life.
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A few folks thought it would fun to shortcut, not once…but twice. That would most likely be Thump Thump and Princess – those clever and sometimes clueless ex GM’s. Somehow they also managed to be FRB’s and then DFL’s.  Perhaps all the love in the air also drove them to get a piece on trail.
In addition to a piece or two on trail there was also PEE on trail…MR JFP! SoPizzOnYa and ShitOnYa….In Russian that means I love you….again in keeping with the theme of the evening. I just love romance.
Virgin Carla wowed us with a a joke so memorable that I actually remembered it.
What is the difference between a G-Spot and a Golf Ball?
A man will actually look for a golf ball!!!!!
Oh yeah…go ahead and laugh.
And so here is to that elusive G-Spot…..Make sure the batteries in your headlamps are fresh and toast one or twelve to the happy couple and hapless hares….DBased and Occasional Rapist.
Thanks for the mammories you crazy couple.
Sweet ON ON ON’s…..
CumFartZone.

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