On-up,

To Bonny Doon in the cold and drizzle. But Dung-Fu Grip trails are typically momentous, right? Well, this one certainly was but was not his standard fare. See below.

Fap Jack was a first responder. This was due to the exhaustion level of our usual Beermeister, his wife, Pink Cherry Licker. Apparently she can no longer party all night and continue as usual the next day. He stood there in the dreariness hoping at least one other hasher would appear. Soon, the hare appeared on his bike! Impressive, that’s quite a climb and even more so with a backpack full of beer. Fap Jack passed him on his way on-up but there was no place to pull off the road. Beer safely stashed somewhere near, he arrived at Point A. Next on the scene was Circle Gherkin’ followed by dBASED and Junk Puncher. Felton local Hareless pulled up last on the wrong side of the road from we Santa Cruzans.

Though past the announced on-out time, a few more minutes were allotted. Soon though everyone surrendered and the hare delivered an abbreviated Instructions of Trail. Due to the minuscule attendance, trail would be not only shortened but the hare would set the entire trail on his bike!This Hash became a Bash! Hare away.

Some additional time was allotted by the pack in hopes others would join us. And they did! Broke Bench Mountain and Scratch and Sniff showed up quite late. The lone GM then convened Circelup for Introductions and meager barks were heard from: Fap Jack, Hareless, Circle Gherkin, dBASED and Puff the Magic Drag Queen. Immediately upon completing this tradition, Broke Bench Mountain left for Vino-by-the-Sea! Pack out.

There are so many trails in this area, some legal and some not, only approximations of trail direction will be even attempted. North Meadow Trail was taken and then some manner of single track crossed us over to Mushroom Hunter. At a check we found the hare attempting to get a cell signal to determine where he had screwed-up. Eventually he took off but then returned a second time deciding he had erred yet again. He doubled back on trail and tried a different exit. This one was successful.

We eventually emerged onto Chinquapin Road and crossed Empire Grade at Twin Gates into Wilder Ranch State Park. We passed Broncos but made the next on-right at Infosign and were soon treated to what you see below.

Yes, it was Beer Check staged in a grove of second growth redwood. At least this trail was scenic even if trail itself was almost nonexistent. After a discussion here pertaining to whether AGM is the FIRST Hash of the year or the LAST, we motivated on-in via Woodcutters’ Trail and then along an unnamed trail back to Point A.

And now for what is arguably the briefest Religion in Surf City history. Religious Adviser dBASED awarded Dung-Fu Grip a down-down for getting lost on his own trail; Fap Jack punished for not even attempting trail; Fap Jack was allowed a second down-down for retaining his chapeau on his noggin during the previous down-down and finally the hare for haring a trail on a bike even slower than if he had been running. No on-on-on. This Hash is over.

The preceding was a factual accounting of actual events though possibly not as they actually occurred. One should never allow the facts to stand in the way of a good story. Do not allow the profound to become the enemy of the interesting.

A Scribe’s sole purpose is to provide entertainment to their kennel mates. Whether or not they are successful in this endeavor is still a subject open to debate.

I chose not to complicate this Hash Trash with facts thereby allowing me to extract almost any end I desired. It was with this motive in mind I recounted the events that comprised Hash Twelve-51.

By Special Appointment of His Royal Majesty ‘G’, this Hash Trash has been compiled and printed by permission of no one other than the author at Santa Cruz, Ca., or elsewhere if need be, on this, the twenty-fourth day of June in the year of our Hash two-thousand twenty-three.

Submitted with all respect due,

Puff

the

Magic Drag Queen

Surf City H3 Scribe