This was a trail from hell. We started at the Rush Inn. Hugh Heifer didn’t even leave the bar until 7PM, she wanted to have her third COCKtail before re-hashing her pre-laid trail. She claimed her co-hares Great Barrier Queef and Six O’ Nine had already left and they we’re starting to lay trail before her, umm yeah sure. The theme this hash was in celebration of spring training of baseball, and HH likes the Oakland A’s so she was decked out, this was probably her cleverest idea about her trail. Most of us like the Giant’s. Hairy fuck 2.5 likes Hockey so he wore his team of choice jersey. We then headed up toward’s Mission street, somewhere over the Mission rainbow there was beer and jello shot’s. Green and yellow color’s of course. This was after zig zagging over by the SC high school, the railroad tracks and near train track tunnel.  We almost had dejavu because we thought we just hashed a similar trail a few week’s back? Or was it a nightmare dream? Anyhoot, religion was again over at top of the River street garage. Several Hasher’s got down down’s so I won’t bore you with all the details (you know who you are) like Mrs. Groper for being a “I stay at camp” on the bar stool. I think the most bothersome down down had to be for Wicked Retahted getting caught by the pack for humpin’ a tree when he thought no one was a lookin’…. Good one brah.. Your name suits you well!!  The only semi-sane mother fucker hasher amongst us had to be a visitor no less, from the Can’d Hash Monterey= Boner Malfunction. He had the balls to come sail over his yacht from Monterey to sing hash song’s to us. He fell in love with us ever since 10 of us SCH3 wanker’s showed up at their Can’d Red dress over Valentine’s Day weekend. He CAN’T get enough of us. Thank goodness this was the last dark trail. Daylight savings is alive and well!!

Looking forward to the Green Dress run on 3/15? I hope you have your verde (yes that’s green in spanglish) dresses ironed and pressed! Please make sure to leave your poochie’s at home (not a good hash for dog’s-sorry nipple butt) and bring ID and some cash on trail, you’ll be needing it fo’ sure.

OK I’m friggin out of here you half minds……your on your own.

For those of you whom missed BFR–you missed a bloody good time!!

Aimmie sang it best ” They said I should go to rehab, and I said No, No No.!!!! I think I’ll go on hashing, I say yeah yeah yeah. One more beer and one more whiskey……

On On Occasional Rapist

Foot Loose and Panty Free celebrated her half century year anniversary with us by haring this hidious hash. http://www.flickr.com/photos/puffmdq/6905285377/in/set-72157629391044959. Parish Publick House was the start pub, and soon we would be introduced to Panty Free’s childhood-hood, where she grew up hitting the streets on her cycle. We had a visitor hasher named Fa-gina, whom hailed from the SLuT H3.  She likes us so much she wants to live here and become a SCH3 regular. This trail was interesting from the start. Panty had a sexy trail using pink colored flour in perfectly shaped circles.  For the hares whom actually followed trail, we we’re awarded an excellent beer check at Westcliff and David, what a great view. We even got fed Kosher sliced dill pickles as a snack. We tried to await the rest of the pack but finally realized our usual FRB’s likely missed trail all together and moved ahead. Beer check number 2 was at the SC Mountain Brewery, where we found our missing pack member’s; dBASED, Hot Wheels, Banana, Wicked R. to name a few.  Full trail was ~ 4.5 miles see mymap here=http://www.mapmyrun.com/routes/view/69536128. Religion moved onto the parking lot behind Safeway on Mission. RA: Accuprick, Beer Fairy: Banana Basher. Down down’s we’re given out to the lame pack member’s whom didn’t show up to first BC.  Tiny Whiney and Hairy Potter got down down for getting laid before the hash. Accuprick was rewarded with his “69th” hash. On this night our newest member Just Kim was baptized “Twat did you say?”, she teaches deaf and dumb children.  Little Boney showed up in cowboy boots during 2nd beer check, down down for looking too western at a hash.  Finally the hare, whom decided to spend her actual birthday with us her hash family! We are blessed or cursed?

Next week we shall see,

On On …and On…..

Occasional Rapist

Hash # 618 Valentine’s Day Hash 2/9/12

Lovebirds Choka Cola and Hairy Potter summoned the pack to Arana Gulch for the start of this week’s hash.  After some lame directions, the hares were off.   The pack was soon to follow, and headed down Agnes St, followed the trail through an alley and found themselves on Soquel Ave.  We solved the check and headed towards Capitola Rd.  The trail went left, up a hill to what looked like a dead end.  We found flour on the sidewalk and followed trail down a path behind the houses and to a Bum Wine check.  The chocolate flavored wine looked pretty gross in the bottle, but was actually quite delightful.  Tasted like Baileys.  The trail lead past Holy Cross Cemetery and back out to Soquel.  We crossed Soquel and headed up the hill on La Fonda, past Harbor High School.   We followed a path through the grounds of another school and found ourselves on Roxas.  From there, we wandered through neighborhood streets until we found beer check at a house on Alamena St.  The house belonged to friends of the hares.   We were served yummy chocolate Valentine cupcakes and candy.  Then things got a little foggy for some of the pack.   And I thought everyone was going in the house to use the bathroom.  We all stumbled back to Arana Gulch for religion.  Accuprick serves as RA.  SpongeBath NoPants was appointed his lovely beer fairy.  Broke Bench Mountain was called up for something he said.  He seems to have an affinity for the song,  My Girlfriend is a Vegetable.  dBASED and SpongeBath NoPants were reprimanded for an encounter they had with a cat on trail.  dBASED did his third down down of the night for calling Choka Cola Korean.  For Valentine’s Day, the couples were called up.  Choka Cola and Hairy Potter, dBASED and Occasional rapist, and Puff the Magic Drag Queen went up with Banana Basher.  Funny how all the married people left their spouses at home!  And last but not least, the hares………

On another note, Surf City had a grand showing at the Monterey Can’d Hash 2^nd Anal Red Dress Run this past Saturday 2/11/12.  In attendance were:  dBASED, Occasional Rapist, Wicked Retahted, Hugh Heifer, Deep Stroke, Just Kim, Just Rosie, Thmp -Thmp, Princess Diarrhea, Cuff my Muff, Zipper Lips, Swiss Army Cock, and yours truly.  There were 4 beer checks at local bars and the trail ended up at the Mucky Duck.  A great time was had by all.  Some single hashers found some new friends.  Hugh wasn’t one of them (again).

See the link below for my photos

http://www.flickr.com/photos/76500969@N02/sets/72157629293539579/

P.S.  Our St. Patrick’s Day Green Dress Run will be 3/15/12.  All you wankers better start dress shopping!

On On,

Shallow Hole

Hello my fellow hashers! It’s been a longtime! We had another great hash on Thursday #616, new to haring Canadian Penny Slut was the hare with her co-hare Shallow Hole! No skunk repellant was necessary on this trail. Apparently the family of skunks that raided Waxi-pad, Shallow, and beer mop’s home left after torturing them for almost 2 week’s! Or was it the otherway around? We met at the infamous Red Room downtown. We had a good turnout, even Mrs. Groper popped in for pre-lube. Trail went zig zagged through some cool street’s of downtown SC, Center, to New Street. Before we did this we did cross path’s with some local bum’s camped out what I think was behind the public library? They seemed interested in what we we’re doing. New street has some really cool historical homes. We ventured up through Santa Cruz High School, up Chestnut to where beer check was off Mission in a parking lot behind an office buidling. Good place for BC. Of course all the FRB’s we’re there before us walker’s. The trail was ~ 1.6 miles=map .  Mostly uneventful until religion. At the start there was some commotion where it was found Swiss Army Cock had handcuffed Hairy Potter! I think he was jealous he got picked as the beer fairy! Luckily our Cuff my Muff being the person she is had keys to unlock the cuff’s-Go Cuff! Religion was at the top of Oswald’s parking garage-RA: Accuprick, beer fairy: Hairy Potter. We had several backslider’s: Broke Bench-(whom by the way has lost about 15 pounds and can see his dick now–ziggy zaggy), Ralphie Cramed-in, Hairy Fuck 2.5, Wicked Retahted. Broke bench was infamous this night as he also got his 169 Hashing badge of dis-honor. Was I hearing things right when Tiny Whiny Bitch got a down down for, “tight mudd”? patches we’re thrown upon Canadian Penny Slut and Shallow Hole for “experienced hares”. Really? On on on was enjoyed by 9 of us bastard’s at the I love Sushi, we’re we we’re given free sake and free app.’s.! HMO Bowl, StuporBowl Hash #617–if you we’re unfortunate enough to have attended either of these event’s lord or mighty! The HMO Bowl was a disaster game for the yellow team -at alf time Both yellow team and blue team we’re tied. As I watched from the sidelines with Ram Pam and ET, I thought to myself, these blokes actually look like they know what there doing! But in the end Yellow team (which had dBASED, Hot Wheels, and?) lost, it was a close game though 7/6 Blue team boyz. Good game though. Ok so those men or boyz whom didn’t die fromt he HMO bowl continued on to hash #617-started at the Brittania Arms about 1:15 ish. Trail was a bit confusing as there we’re how many options? So many I can’t count. Turkey Chicken, Eagle Turkey, I felt like I was in a restaurant hearing the daily specials. Jeez…ok well you know what trail you did so I won’t go into too much detail. Longest Eagle Eagle ran about 4.5 miles. Shortest was chicken at about 1.15 miles. We stumbled back over the the lovely Lil Anal Annie and Butt balls casa where we already could smell the burning flesh of a BBQ. Good eats and drink had by all, Thanks again to our host’s and their providing us with- how much?– like 18 friggin’ pounds of skirt steak!! and the Pussy Troupe for his excellent beer, and everyone whom made/brought good eats! Game sucked ’cause niner’s we not there! Nuff said……On On coming up this week is the Valentine hash #618 with Choka Cola and her future hubby Hairy potter! I hope other hash bastard’s also are going to the Can’D hash this coming Saturday 2/11 for their RED dress Run!!! There’s a few of us carpooling from dBASED abode around high noon!

Beer there, or Beer Square!!!!

And FYI don’t be fooled by dBASED when he states he got a piece after a hash, ’cause nine times out of ten he confuses it with getting a piece of himself!! LOL!  Everyone rejoices!

On on and ON…Occasional Rapist!!