Hash Trash #954

February 22, 2018Uncategorizedcfzone

Pink Cherry Lickers Birthday Bash was totally disorganized but at least it was a live haring. No Pre Lay involved. But at the last minute, she did pull Just Foot Pussy into this fiasco.

When I talked to her the afternoon of the hash she was driving around haphazardly looking for a spot to place the beer for beer check. That’s a tall order in downtown Santa Cruz as the bums have the run of every scrap of pavement, every bush, every patch of grass. It’s not easy to hide beer in this town and keep it safe from prying eyes and hungry mouths.

We gathered at the Blue Lagoon and a few stragglers wandered in just as we were getting ready to circle up.

Vaginal Repair kit made an appearance….but he is still not ready to walk miles and miles and miles after his back surgery.

And Wicked is getting ready for his hip surgery, so he handed over the hashshit before the pack headed out. The new recipient is now Real Boring Bitch. He embraced his new walking stick with unbridled enthusiasm by trying to pass it off to others.

Apparently upon leaving the safety of the Blue Lagoon…it was difficult to find trail from the first check. They were searching and scouting for the next mark….any mark, any sign of life that could put the pack back on true trail.

After 20 minutes spent fending off homeless, druggies and nutjobs….they found trail again.

Trail went across the river and down the river levee, and back to soquel av. There was a check by Indian restaurant and Lamp store There was police activity by the hindquarter grill, but luckily no hashers were involved….this time.

We took the stairs in back of the rush inn up to beer check in the vacant lot near the mission. Occasional encountered a crazy homeless guy that freaked her out. Maybe we should start carrying pepper spray, duct tape and a one size fits all straight jacket!

On the way back from beer check we saw a semi-conscious homeless guy laying on the sidewalk in front of the Mexican restaurant at the bottom of the stairs. The ambulance came for him as we headed out.

It’s just life in downtown Santa Cruz.

BUT…maybe it’s time to start exploring some other neighborhoods in this big county.

Religion found us at our fav garage….again!

We finally named Just Tia…..who will now be known as Rubik’s Pube.

It only took 6 hashes…but that’s how we roll.

Welcome to the pack.

On On On

CumFartZone

Hash Trash#953 Stupor Bowl

February 16, 2018Uncategorizedcfzone

We had an amazing turnout for this momentous hash.

It was Sunday Funday Extraordinaire.

The Wax home became a West Coast Eagles headquarters festooned with balloons, napkins and lots of swag.

Shallow and Waxi are serious about rooting for their home team.

Fly Eagles Fly.

The gang arrived in force with coolers of food and drink. Serious grilling, sauteing, blending and baking took place.

Amazing Philly Cheese steaks were cooked and assembled by Just Foot Pussy, Bacon Queef and Shallow Hole.

These folks are serious about their meat.

The hares, DBased and Cold Smegma Kamakazi laid quite the circuitous trail. We had to navigate the brutal hills of the neighborhood as well as trespass onto a construction site. Occasional and Junk Puncher came back covered in mud, while the rest of us merely walked a few yards to the right and left, totally avoiding the muck. Some folks are a tad too focused on following the flour to notice alternative routes.

Apparently JustFootPussy and Taco Tramp were also stymied by the mud….but especially Taco who wore the most inappropriate footwear ever…..UGGGGGHHHH Boots to a hash??!!

For some odd reason the Turkey/Eagle split was 50 feet from BeerCheck….and Puff decides to go the extra mile…or three….and do the Eagle….thus missing Beer Check entirely.

CumFartZone almost missed it as well because she stopped at a yard sale and then had to schlep her treasures in a new little wheelie up a hill in the hot sun. Not sure it was a bargain by then.

Princess tapped out after BeerCheck and called an Uber to take her and her lazy friends back to the Super Bowl Party.

Back at party Central things were in full force.

Religion was lively….with Cold Smegma being called out for taking a deuce in someone’s front yard? What the hell?? Wasn’t there a YouTube video of this nonsense going around? Do you have to copy everything you see online????

Apparently this took place during the scouting of the trail with Cold Smegma Kamakazi learning from the most eloquent and talented DBased. What do we wankers get out of all of this…..a Doubly Shitty Trail, Of Course.

We had quite a few backsliders….and we had to say see ya later to yet another hasher who is moving out of the state… fond farewell to Project Cumway. She promises to start a new hash in Grand Junction, Colorado.

Hash Trash # 952 Tropical Adventure

February 14, 2018Uncategorizedcfzone

It was a magical evening thanks to the hares, TestiCoil and Bareback Unicrack.

They went out of their way to ensure that most of us got the dress code memo…..wear a festive Hawaiian shirt…or else!

We started at the Pocket….that little nondescript bar on Portola, next to Curtesy Flushes favorite Chinese joint. Yes, he occasionally deviates from the standard burrito fare.

The crowd was lively and excited that the trail was technically a short one. A mere 2.2 miles for the turkeys….a walk in the park but the extra .2 is what makes it a challenging trail. Just like the marathon….TWENTY SIX POINT TWO Friggin miles….on my feet for hours and hours for some lousy medal and a technical t-shirt. Here we only get cheap beer.

And the Eagle trail was an exhausting 3 point 5! Whew.

Since I managed to get me some shin splints from the Stupor Bowl hash – madly running down the hills to catch the pack – I decided to grab some food at above referenced Chinese place and meet the pack at Beer Check.

Thus satisfying my craving for sodium overload

and saving my ligaments from further damage!

When I met up with the pack for Beer Check there was lots of talk of how nicely marked the trail was! Nobody got lost, including Puff.

We all walked back to Wicked’s house for Religion and to show off our festive attire.

We had some nibbles as we settled in for the show. Accuprick once again delighted us with his RA skills.

He immediately called up those who did not sport a Hawaiian shirt….Curtesy Flush, Summers yeast, Broke Bench, Timmy and Apple Bobber, Today is Monday and Virgin Russel.

Then he had all of us perform a whistle check and a few folks left their gear at home….Bakers D, Hugh Heiffer, Curtesy Flush.

Wicked missed the Liquor Check and Beer Check so he is the proud owner of the Hashshit….AGAIN!!

Backsliders: Apple Bobber showed up out of the blue, and we were also blessed with a hearty rendition of Today is Monday….in honor of the man of the same name.

We tried to name Just Tia but the pack was not cooperating….so we will have another go at it next week.

On On On – CumFartZone

Hash Trash #951 Farewell Goodbye Adios Amigos!

February 13, 2018Uncategorizedcfzone

We gathered at the Infamous Red Room in downtown Santa Cruz. CuntJungle was supposed to be haring but she is nursing a back injury so we let her slide. This was going to be her revenge on all of us as she is defecting from Cali and wanted to give us a nice challenging trail that we could all remember her by. Well, the best laid plans, like most of our trails, go awry.

We cut her some slack and she did run out….in her car….to get the beer for beer check. So she’s still in our good graces….but not by much!

DBased and Baker’s stepped up and hared the trail for her. That’s real chivalry on trail for ya. Or simply another excuse for them to show us the seedy side of Santa Cruz…Again….and Again!
If I ever get thrown out of my apartment I’ll know all the best spots in town where I can pitch a tent.

Meanwhile the Eagles had to contend with a seriously steep uphill that ended in a YBF!

And then came the numbered stairs of death….I stopped counting after 169!

We circled around the Cemetery, Costco, and all the usual haunts but no time to stop in at any of our usual watering holes and Puff was not a happy camper bout that. Bocci’s was calling his name but it fell on deaf ears.

Beer Check was brazenly held at the river levee overlook also known as a popular doughnut stop.

At Religion Accuprick performed his scintillating RA duties.

TestiCoil now has a whopping 25 hashes under his belt.

Wicked missed Beer Check….and continues to have to carry around that nasty hashshit stick. Thankfully he will get a reprieve when he has his hip replacement surgery on Feb 21.
Wishing him a speedy recovery in advance.

Also on the injured reserves list are Testi and JFP…..they shouldn’t be putting their fingers in places where they do not belong!

Thump complained that the Turkey/Eagle split was lame….what a whiner.

But what was even more lame were the jokes told by the two virgins.

Our hares, DBased and Bakers…and CuntJungle, were summarily punished and we said a hearty Farewell to CJ.

On On On was held at Pono and was very well attended.

Hash Trash # 948 on 1/11/18

February 11, 2018SCH3 Trashshallowhole

Hash # 948: Dark and Stormy, Hot N Ready Hash on January 11, 2018

Despite the name of this hash, the weather was actually clear and very pleasant on the east side of Santa Cruz. Princess Di (arrhea) and Thmp Thmp summoned the pack to Castaways on Portola. A bunch of backsliders came out of the woodwork for this hash. Honeymooners Rat Pussy and Deadliest Snatch left their bedroom for once. Speaking of honeymooners, Fucked Over Fest has been reclusive since he got married. Somehow he got a pass to come out to the hash. My Little Bony left his bar stool at the Double O for the evening. Occasional Rapist came back from vacationing in Cuba and Twat Did You Say? Was able to get a babysitter for the evening. Six of Nine showed up and tried to lure Virgin Tia into taking a ride with him. She declined.

Trail started out he back door (of course), but circled around the front to Portola. It took a while to get started. We had to solve a tricky back check on Portola, but we finally found our way. We toured a lovely trailer court, then ended up going left on 38^th. There was a long trek down the nasty railroad tracks, only to find a YBF and a boob check. After that nastiness, we then headed towards Opal Cliffs. We circled back to 41^st ave and were treated to a circle jerk around Frenchies parking lot. There was a liquor check on 41^st ave with the best coconut rum I’ve ever had. I just read that coconut oil helps improve brain function in patients with Alzheimer’s. I wonder if the same is true for coconut rum? It’s worth a shot, right? Trail then continued down 41^st Ave to East Cliff Drive. But instead of going straight along the ocean, we got detoured inland a couple times before finding beer check at the end of Rockview Drive. The Hares treated is with Dark and Stormy cocktails and of course beer! I got 3.58 miles on my GPS.

Religion was back at Wicked Retahted’s house where a bonfire and hot and ready pizza awaited us. Courtesy Flush was super excited to find Zima in the cooler. Pink Cherry Licker was also on the Zima bandwagon. We had a couple Analversaries. Dog breath celebrated his 325^th and Courtesy Flush celebrated his 75^th Surf City Hash. Get a life! Virgin Tia told a lame joke. Welcome to the hash! The back slider list was too big to count. Achy Breaky Snatch and yours truly got some free save the horses shirts that no one else wanted. Pink Cherry Licker tried to get rid of the Hash Shit, but no luck. It’s all yours baby! And last but not least, the Hares…..

On On,

Shallow Hole

My unique memories of Pearl Necklace

February 6, 2018Uncategorizeddbased

I have two small semi-unique memories of Pearl Necklace.

The first was my 40^th birthday party in 2001 where he appeared as couple for the first time (to me) with Last Call Norm.

The second was a story of him haring with Banana Basher. Banana told him to set a false up some street – which would typically be around a block. Instead, he went many, many blocks. And, as they say, that’s when the trouble started (that day).

Surf City Hash House Harriers

A drinking club with a running problem in Santa Cruz