Since most of the pack is away…..the mice will play! Come to Capitola to see the full moon rise….and I don’t mean we will be dropping trou…..well maybe we will….cause you never know around here. We will scamper around this quaint and colorful village by the sea, leave our droppings and annoy my neighbors! I might even have some tasty snacks to entice you to cum out and play.

That was the hash invite. I guess all that electrical stim did something to my naughty bits and made me sign up to be a last minute co-hare with Pinky.  Why do I get myself in these predicaments? I just can’t say no…especially if they beg!

So a few of us outcasts showed up at the Brit. Wicked rode his bike over from the Point but forgot his bike lock….so I climbed the dreaded Capitola stairs yet again to bring him a bike lock. He is forever indebted to me. My thighs were throbbing from those stairs. Maybe a massage is in order rather than a lame thank you note.

Another short shitty last minute trail by Pink Cherry Licker.

We started at Takara Sushi, near the mall.

Everyone without dogs ended up inside of target, where yellow sticky notes were used instead of chalk or flour.

Very clever except that once we got into the mall the little yellow sticky notes disappeared. Not sure if the janitor swept them up or some snot nosed kid grabbed them.

But some of us….Occasional, Jizz and CumFartZone were left to our own devices and a bad sense of direction.

Nevertheless Occasional was adamant that she heard from Wicked that there was flour outside the mall, perhaps on 38th so off we went. CFZ put out a distress call to UrineCider and he responded that the pack was nearby. Thankfully we all reunited like a bad 80’s song.

It seemed that it got rather dark quickly and the sea of flashlights finally led us up to Brommer park for Beer Check and Religion. It’s like a BOGO…..buy one, get one.

Lately we have been choosing that option…the combo plan. This was perhaps the shortest distance so far between stops.

We chastised the backsliders…..like SixONine who broke some ribs and was down and out for a bit…so what else is new? CourtesyFlush, Cunt Jungle also have been remiss in their attendance. Lame excuses about snuggling with pussy….but who can blame them.

We had a visitor from down south….Gorilla Whorefair. We had folks running from warrants and towards some Red Trolley beer. I think he is planning on relocating to our neck of the woods with his lovely spouse.

Wicked remembered his friend and surf icon, Lars, who recently departed this earthly plane.

Cum You Will Not was a very good girl and got an A for boob check. Accuprick noted that she hides her famous red lipstick between those beautiful mounds of rounds. That’s his words not mine. I think Jizz was also in on this action. There was some confusion about birdshit on the RR tracks being mistaken for hash marks.

 Accu needs to back of the green stuff.

Cheek and Dong created some gorilla tit checks. There is always one in every crowd.

All in all….a dark shitty trail and a burrito to boot!

On On On,

CumFartZone

Holy Sweet Matrimony, Wedded Bliss and all that Crap.

So DBased and Occasional tied the knot four years ago in some secret ceremony.Since none of us were invited to the actual wedding they decided to let us all in on their extreme love drunk escapades by re-enacting their honeymoon by inviting all of us to trudge around in the darkness searching for some cheap champagne and a confetti condom. We all wore headlamps as a show of solidarity to DB for his valiant effort to find the hole. I am sure that there was some sort of Geocache type prize in there. You know he likes to go on wild goose chases and sign his name on a tiny scraps of paper as proof of his finds. Most likely he tattooed his name down there so he can gaze upon his precious treasure every day!! I think he may be a bit obsessed with that game. Then again he is also obsessed with Hashing too. I think there is a pattern here.

Anywho……..We all gathered in force to celebrate the momentous anniversary but first had to decipher some navigational way points in order to find the start.

Gosh darn this game thing can be a bit annoying. My Uber driver was less than thrilled.

Can’t just give us an address…….NO Sir…that would be too easy for us half-minds. Gotta make us work for our beer. Speaking of beer…..it was stuck in traffic………along with most of us. So much for living in a sleepy little beach town.

Once we all managed to find the start off we went…..through the woods and over sandy hills. We were treated to a most spectacular sunset and a few stopped for photo ops.

 

Back on trail we found the dreaded railroad tracks again….however we were pleasantly surprised to find them needle and litter free. Capitola sure does know how to discourage the riff raff.

Beer check was staged at a lovely little overlook and the champagne was flowing, along with Dbased’s little sweet nothings which he kept whispering to his glowing bride.

I just envy them….such a perfect couple!! And he is so so affectionate. Too much PDA is never a bad thing with them.

Back at religion we officially celebrated their anniversary to the tune of El Camino….which seemed appropriate at the time.

We also celebrated the year’s Beer Meisters: Thump Thump, Princess, Just Foot Pussy and Bacon Q and I think Broke Back and Cums was mentioned as well. Sorry but I was a bit too looped from all the bubbly to take accurate notes.

Then they called me up there for something….I have no clue why but I gladly drank some of the shitty beer just to be a good sport.

Pinky screamed on trail – actually it was on the RR tracks just after we left Beer Check. We thought it may have been Occasional getting some in the bushes but sadly it was just a huge rat running for his life, away from the Hashers.

So Rat Pussy and Pinky got a down down.

Shallow Hole celebrated a mere 269 hashes…Get a Life.

 

A few folks thought it would fun to shortcut, not once…but twice. That would most likely be Thump Thump and Princess – those clever and sometimes clueless ex GM’s. Somehow they also managed to be FRB’s and then DFL’s.  Perhaps all the love in the air also drove them to get a piece on trail.

In addition to a piece or two on trail there was also PEE on trail…MR JFP! SoPizzOnYa and ShitOnYa….In Russian that means I love you….again in keeping with the theme of the evening. I just love romance.

Virgin Carla wowed us with a a joke so memorable that I actually remembered it.

What is the difference between a G-Spot and a Golf Ball?

A man will actually look for a golf ball!!!!!

Oh yeah…go ahead and laugh.

And so here is to that elusive G-Spot…..Make sure the batteries in your headlamps are fresh and toast one or twelve to the happy couple and hapless hares….DBased and Occasional Rapist.

Thanks for the mammories you crazy couple.

Sweet ON ON ON’s…..

CumFartZone.

We started at Moe’s Alley and should have stayed there for the music rather than subject ourselves to another shitty trail.

But seriously  it was a blissful trail…only a few measly miles compared to our recent death marches. Apparently the Eagle trail wankers were treated to some cold, frosty delicious drink called a mudslide. I suppose it was worth it as the turkeys got nothing except some twisted ankles and a lot of complaining from a few disgruntled walkers.

I am not sure what these whiners want out of a hash….a custom air conditioned stretch limo with unlimited beverages and a servant to wipe their ass when they have to take a crap? Grow some balls people otherwise stay home munching cheese doodles and chips from the comfort of your lazyboy. 

There was a lovely beer check at the home of stub rub and summer’s yeast plus an opportunity to share in the coveted mudslide libation and use the indoor plumbing.

We had some backsliders…such as TestaCoil, Steamy B and Stub Rub. Just Foot Pussy, playing the beer meister and jokester role, tried to pull the cooler from underneath CumFartZone’s ass just as she was settling in to scribe.

Luckily she has quick reflexes and a medical emergency was diverted. Dog Breath had blood on trail as did Just Foot Pussy…we are calling his injury “wounded knee” in honor of his heritage. Perhaps we should carry a first aid kit on trail.  Some lucky wankers got to hear and see owls. See, it pays to do trail and not sneak off early. Many thanks to Steamy and Stub for a wonderful trail.  I especially liked the crackling of the power lines above my head.