Slippery Slope on a Rope

This Week, Twisted Fister and Dung Fu Grip brought the pack to JJ’s Saloon in Soquel.  It had been raining nonstop for 2 days.  Luckily the rain stopped in time for the hash.  Dog Breath returned from working in the red light district in Thailand.  Beware single Harriettes!  He may have brought back some microscopic souvenirs!  Tiny Whiny Bitch showed up.  He was visiting from Colorado and showed up late, but was able to catch up with the DFL’s.

The pack circled up in back of the bar, and took off in usual lackadaisical fashion in search of flour.  We went through the side alley out to Soquel and almost tripped over a car bumper in the sidewalk.  It belonged to some schmuck who was exchanging accident information with another guy.  There was a check on the corner of Soquel and Main.  After checking 2 wrong directions, someone finally solved the check and went right on Main, left on E Walnut and back out to Soquel.  Achy Breaky Snatch solved the next check and took us right on Capitola Ave.  We went quite a ways down Capitola Ave until trail turned right on Hill for only about a block, then went left on Lawrence.  After a confusing check, and a YBF, the pack crossed the street and went down Oak, which lead to the trail in back of Nob Hill that cut across to Wharf Road.  The pack was getting thirsty!  Some reminisced about a past trail where there was a tequila check and the hares almost got caught by the cops.

There was a liquor check under a bridge on Wharf Rd.  The bottle of vodka had a combination lock on it.  After a couple hashers tried to get the top off, Dog Breath finally figured it out.  Trail continued all the way back to Soquel.  After crossing the street, we spotted the fence that the Hares warned us about.  It was a small wooden fence that lead to a steep slippery slope down a hill.  The Hares were thoughtful enough to put a rope to hang on to as hashers repelled down the hill.  To my knowledge, everyone made it down alive.  Trail continued along a wet, creek bed.  Princess Di(arrhea) found a tampon.  Cumcerto almost got stuck in quick sand.   There was photographic evidence showing that Occasional Rapist and Tiny Whiny Bitch lost trail, but found another fence to climb.  The overachievers decided one fence wasn’t good enough and climbed a 6 foot chain link fence.  Not sure where it was, but they didn’t make it to beer check.  Cumcerto and I climbed up the other side of the creek bed and ended up on the trails in back of Soquel High School.  There was a check at the bottom of a hill.  We proceeded to follow trail up the hill.  Beer check was at the top of the hill.  Thmp-Thmp and some other lazy fuckers refused to go up the hill.  They eventually found beer check.  dBASED was trying to catch the Hares, but no one saw him on trail.  He did make it to beer check. 

Religion was in back of JJ’s.  Accuprick was RA and appointed yours truly Beer Fairy.  Backsliders, Dog Breath and Finger Nips were called up first.  Dog Breath was in Asia and Finger nips was moving.  Next was Analversaries.  Canadian Penny Slut celebrated her 25^th Surf City Hash.  That’s almost as bad as Slonad.  Her first hash was my first hash.  It was January 20, 2011!  Dung Fu Grip celebrated his 10^th Haring.  Broke Bench Mountain celebrated 220 hashes.  Get a life!  Occasional Rapist and Tiny Whiny Bitch got lost and went the wrong way.  They were so traumatized, they were back at the bar.  dBASED did her down down.  Achy Breaky Snatch was called up for her lewd behavior at the Can’d Hash.  She flashed the hot military guys, but not Surf City hashers.  Thmp-Thmp, Just Mike, Fap Jack were called up for trying to short cut going up the big hill to beer check.  Tiny Whiny Bitch was visiting from Colorado and got called up for a down down.  Pink Cherry Licker accused Accuprick and Wicked Retahted of having an Abbot and Costello Bromance.  Hugh Heifer and Me were called up for being Deadhead hippies.  Twisted Fister was chastised for whining about how he had to avoid the cops at Blue balls Park and carry heavy cooler of beer up the hill to beer check.  And last but not least, The Hares…………..

Next hash will be Thursday March 6 th.  Prelube to Betty Ford Hash Weekend!  Meet at Tampico, where we will be following the slow and the blind.  Pink Cherry Licker and Fap Jack promised a shitty trail!

On On,

Shallow Hole

Hello there wanker-kanker-soress’s. Did we not have a blast last Sunday playing our own “Super” bowl? The Waxes hosted a knarly paartaay, we even had our own resident “in the house” band! Greatful Dead song’s we’re a balarin’, “safety” meetings happening on the hour every hour (we know who you are). And oh ya, we even decided to go for a romp run in the rain. The hare’s decided to for-go the original trail d/t rain, otherwise Shallow Hole would not have let us come over after (muddy and all wet):) So instead, around 1:30pm, after sharing a bottle of Proseco, Chardonnay, and a few beers had by some, the hares took off. It was hard to leave since the music was so good. But off we went. The first thing we see out of the driveway was a “BM” signage? WTF does that mean?, we all said outloud. Umm first thing I thought was maybe Shallow was having a work flash attack, since BM’s are something to watch for in TF/TPN feedings. BUT lo and behold it ended up being dBASED that wrote it! He meant to put BW check, LOL. It didn’t matter much as the wine ended up being a sweet blackberry Merlot, so they both we’re off the hook so to speak, (although dBASED got the down down later). Trail was fucked up for us DFL’s we ended up going almost a mile longer than true trail. Ever hear the term “may all your up’s and down’s be in bed”? That could have applied to this day’s trail, where we went up we went down and so on. But we drank all the time whilst doing it! The game was fun, I liked watching all the funny commercials and half time entertainment. The rest of the gang played “card’s against humanity”. Did I tell you all the good food we ate? We had some hasher’s show up just to bring us food and visit, Choka Cola, Hairy Potter and their gorgeous baby girl, Micah and ‘Twat did you say?’ The Pulled pork sandwiches we’re devine, as was the spanikopia, salsa and spinach dip’s, and all the other stuff. A fine time had by all indeed. Who really cared about the game? In the end the enclosed patio was our little area of singing hash song’s, drinking, and laughing as we we’re all dry inside! We like hashing like this!  Thanks again to the Waxes for hosting this stupor bowl!! We love ya man!!

On On

Occasional