Hash Trash # 939 AGM on 11/9/17

In with the old, out with new….and so it goes for the  “AGM”. I am assuming this stands for Annual General Mismanagement….or Another Gross Mishap. It’s like an early New Year’s, or a late fiscal year wrap up. What do I know….I only take some lousy notes every now and again.

At this annual fiasco we mingle a bit at El Palomar, in a private room in order to keep us away from the normal patrons. We are swigging beer and slurping margaritas while desperately trying to remember all the antics we participated in over the past 12 months. We huddle together to fill out the ballots, nominating the fools who will lead us into another 12 months of purgatory, into another year of shitty trails and warm beer. Then we do a short crappy obligatory farewell 1.18 mile trail laid by the outgoing GM’s…the General MisManagers, the head honchos, those worthless bums….Pinky and FapJack.

The hares took us a few blocks around downtown Santa Cruz and in and out of a few establishments. Perhaps they thought we could do some light reading and sip a latte. But no time to dilly dally…… as we just had to go down by the levee for one last look at the druggies and the homeless. Hope everyone is up to date on their shots and vaccines! And watch out for the dreaded Hep A hanging out on the public sidewalks.

As a friendly shout out to CumFartZone…the Queen of the endless BN (Beer Near) markings…..Pinky and Fap lovingly placed BN marks on the stairs heading up to the top of the parking garage. I think I stopped counting after 144!!

While we were enjoying beer check at the top of the garage….our lookout spied the dreaded and now ever present park rangers. We quickly scattered like gazelles being pursued by the lions. Well everyone except for Puff, who was too busy taking photos that he didn’t realize he was the only hasher left to deal with the Feds. Since they are now on to us….he got the lecture about public drinking and questioned why we simply weren’t smart enough to put our beer into a red solo cup. DUH???

Yep, most hashers simply aren’t that brilliant…except for our resident PhD and our burrito esquire.

So after posting a hefty bail, Puff joined us back at El Palomar just as the slide show of shame was flashing across the screen. Lots of laughs and so much fun looking back at our crazy adventures and some epic moments of bonding over beer.

After the slide show we launched right into religion and the dreaded Down Downs.

Puff was the first recipient for the Ranger Danger award.

Analversaries went to Princess Di and Shallow Hole for a whopping 275 hashes.

Taco Tramp finally made it to her 25th hash in 2 years.

Our visitors were Dual Tools, Today is Monday and Drink and Squirt….the new GM of Silicon Valley.

We had a bunch of backsliders….including Vaginal Repair kit who is having back surgery on Dec 5th…I guess that is a valid excuse for missing most of the hashes these past 2 months.

He was joined by those missing in action world travelers, PussyWood and TranCuntnanal, and Cold Smegma who has had some foot issues, along with all his other issues.

Despite our fervent warning not to bring virgins to the AGM, one of our newbies, who can’t read, brings Virgin Andrea, who manages to belt out another lame ass joke.

“How does Lady Gaga like her steak”?  Answer…..RA RA RA, blah blah blah. Whatever! When are we going to find someone who can get with the program and show some naughty bits??!!

Onto the newlyweds, the Murphy’s. Their wedded nuptials were celebrated with a hefty down down and boisterous cheering.

We had a Beerthday song for Bakers…who was definitely whooping it up.

And Bareback Unicrack has a beerthday coming up on Nov 26th…..I’m sure it will be a festive occasion.

And then we moved on to the Academy Awards for the evening. Banana Basher performed the official counting of the ballots with his helpers, Vag, Cumz out my Nose, and Twisted….who did not want to have any dangling chads to mar the votes.

And the results of the voting are as follows:   Read em and weep.

GM- Shallow Hole

Hash Cash/Flash- Puff

Hare Raiser- Fap Jack

RA’s- Accuprick, Pink Cherry Licker and Bakers Dozen’t

Haberdasher- Occasional Rapist

On Sec- dBASED

Beermeister-rotating schedule with 4 open months

Scribe- CumfartZone

Stupidest act on trail goes to Bakers Dozen’t for dragging home a little red wagon. He garnered a whooping 35 votes for this nonsense.

Biggest wanker goes to DBased – I can’t imagine why.

Best themed hash went to “Make America Drunk Again”.

Best trail was #920…thanks to Shallow Hole, Cock Throbbin,Ho 2 Housewife & Princess Di. This was the W2B prelube hash which included the boat ride to the Crows Nest beach Party and a festive bonfire.

Worst trail was a tie: #919 Puff Puff and Timmy!!! at the Oakwood cemetery trying to replicate DungFu’s haphazard trail. We all ended up covered in Poison Oak. Note to self….buy a case or two of Technu – it makes a great holiday gift.

And the other winner was CumFartZone for trail #924 co-hared with Symphomaniac, that maniac from Germany. Lots of confusing marks….what else is new, crossing their own hare marks, and crappy warm beer for beer check. On another recent trail CumFart also gets lost in her own hood while the rest of the pack is in Phoenix. Get a life and a compass.

Last years board members were honored….and thrilled to be turning over the reigns to the new folks…except a few folks were holding on to their jobs for dear life and simply would not relinquish their positions.

Beer meister is continuing to be a shared position and will rotate monthly. You can still sign up for a slot.

All in all it was a wonderful evening.

Thank you to everyone for attending and supporting our hash.

On On On




Leave a Reply