Hash Twelve-14: Chalk Darker Than Night

Darkness fell,

This time, however, it was the color of the chalk (foolishly) chosen by our horrible hare Rubik’s Pube. We’ll get even with her(and her little dog) someday, sometime. My suggestion would be to blindfold her and make her hash trail that way next week. Then she’ll know how we felt at every intersection at which we arrived. Hounds were seen on hands and knees, flashlight in hand, desperately seeking an indication of which direction our hare had happily hopped. The hash cry, Checking! was now heard at intersections rather than at standard checks.

Enough of that though, let’s discuss more pleasant subject matter, such as starting from Santa Cruz Mountain Brewery.

Hallowe’en spirit is felt at Mountain Brewery

This was a brilliant decision on the Pube’s part. Sadly, it was the ONLY wise decision made by her this evening. The pack confiscated the far end of the outdoor drinkin’ area feeling the farther from management we were the better it would be for both parties. Broke Bench Mountain and Cumz Out My Nose decided to sample the wares here for their first meal of the day. But not their first DRINK I bet. Everyone else was happy to stick with the local ales. Swamp Rat got an abandoned pretzel from a nearby table and found it hard chewing. Watching her dog choke down his dinner was what it took to get the Pube away from her glass and deliver Instructions of Trail. Her idea of Instructions of Trail is meant to be manipulative. Hare away.

Fifteen minutes was easily passed as Mountain Brewery has the ability to make beer quicker than even Surf City can drink it. Eventually though, zero hour arrived and co-GM’s Cumz Out My Nose and Broke Bench Mountain called for Circleup for Introductions and received responses from: Accuprick, Cold Smegma Kamikaze, Jersey Lunchbox, Occasional Rapist, dBASED, Cum You Will Not, 2 Dicks Down, Steamy Baanorrhea, Just John(past 5 hashes now), My Little Bony(yes, he’s baaack!) and Puff the Magic Drag Queen. Our canine contingency was ably represented by Spot’d Dick, Scratch and Sniff and Junk Puncher with Swamp Rat as co-hare. Pack out.

Due to the fact trail was so difficult to follow and hounds were seen scurrying in all directions, I will approximate trail to the best of my inability.

It was on-left onto Ingalls Street and across Fair Avenue to stay on Ingalls. When Ingalls ends at Almar Avenue, a hare arrow pointed the pod across but then gave no indication as to whether an on-left or an on-right would be right. Eventually dark marks were discovered on-right on Almar followed by an on-left onto Pendegast Avenue. Pendegast comes to Surfside Avenue where searching for trail yielded an on-left followed by a quick on-right to remain on Pendegast. A check two blocks later yielded an on-right onto Walk Circle. Walk crashes into Naglee Avenue and dictates an on-left or on-right. Contrary to the direction FRB’s Jersey Lunchbox and Just John trotted, an on-left was correct. One block later we viewed the DGK mark and crossed wide Woodrow Avenue to remain on Walk.

Walk was taken until California Avenue where an on-right was dictated and taken all the way to Bay Street. Busy Bay was used until an on-right onto National Street was indicated. Thus began a long, boring stretch of concrete and asphalt. Finally, and I do mean FINALLY, an on-left onto Nevada Street was told and a few blocks later on-right onto Laguna Street. Laguna ends at Pelton Avenue but that meant nothing to this hare so we went directly across and into the darkened Lighthouse Field on a single track footpath. The only benefit to this adverse adventure was we stumbled across Liquor Check which, much to my chagrin, I must admit was cleverly stashed in a tree stump!

Cleverly hidden Liquor Check

For the second consecutive week, Liquor Check consisted of airline-sized liquor bottles, this week with the addition of Hershey Kisses. The Pube probably took these from last week’s Liquor Check thereby saving herself considerable expense. After completing our business here, we continued to West Cliff Drive and on-right and soon came to Beer Check staged in one of the few remaining parking areas overlooking Monterey Bay. Sufficient time was spent here to make everyone happy and then it was on-in time.

We continued along West Cliff and made the on-right onto the Bethany Curve Walkway. When the Walkway ends at Delaware, it was on-left and soon we would see the highlight of this trail which of course no credit is deserved by our hare at all.

You buys ya ticket, ya takes ya chances!

The decorations at a house on Delaware just prior to Almar are spectacular. This (almost) compensated for lousy trail.

We continued on Delaware and made an on-right onto Swift to make the scene at Religion on the railroad tracks. Once reassembled, Accuprick issued the following down-downs: backsliders were punished, Cum You Will Not for falling on trail and Broke Bench Mountain celebrated his 475th hash with us. Oh, I almost forgot the hare. Most Likely because I WANTED to forget her. Trail? Well, like I said the house on Delaware was superbly decorated for Hallowe’en. After that task was completed, Accuprick dismissed the pack and I also do so from this Trash.

The preceding was a factual accounting of actual events though possibly not as they actually occurred. One should never allow the facts to stand in the way of a good story. Do not allow the profound to be the enemy of the interesting.

A Scribe’s sole purpose is to provide entertainment to their kennel mates. Whether or not they are successful in this endeavor is still a subject open to debate.

I chose not to complicate this Hash Trash with facts thereby allowing me to extract almost any end I desired. It was with this motive in mind I recounted the events that comprised Hash Twelve-14.

By Special Appointment of His Royal Majesty ‘G’, this Hash Trash has been compiled and printed by permission of no one other than the author at Santa Cruz, Ca., or elsewhere if need be, on this, the eighteenth day of October in the year of our Hash two-thousand twenty-two.

Submitted with all respect due,



Magic Drag Queen

Surf City H3 Scribe

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