Frankly I do not know why my scribe requirements are needed at all since Puff said it all in the Hash Flash email, but either way here is my side of the story! Trail this week was laid by Dung-fu and Ho-to-housewife and if we learned any lessons its that more than one turkey eagle split can lead to confusion amongst a bunch of half-minds. It started from coasters, a bar in the boardwalk bowl I have never had the pleasure of imbibing cheap drinks in. It then went on through the boardwalk and over the railroad tracks (though many of us said fuck that and walked on the nice safe pathway alongside the tracks). I have to say the sunset liquor check on point loma was
arguably the least shitty party of trail and there were plenty of cherries to be popped along with it. The whole pack after being properly liquored up then proceeded to go down a false on Pilkington but it was quickly sorted out before again being confused by what wankers thought to be a mis-labeled turkey eagle split since two turkey-eagle splits were promised (it was actually just a plain old two-pronged check).
This led to poor Cumcerto and Puff being led on a false trail for likely too long before reuniting with the pack. Luckily for them the larger turkey group continually fucked up the proper trail so they were able to catch up. Pedofiddler marked trail wrong TWICE (she got her deserved down-downs) and visitor Apple bobber helped her in this by following a random runner (NOT a hasher) at the corner of Logan and Seaview and leading the whole pack astray. Somehow, however, everyone managed to make it to another liquor check (and finally beer check) and the second eagle split led the three brave souls willing to do it (puff, pedofiddler and cumcerto) on a much longer journey that I don’t know the details of.
Religion was a whole other bout of fuck-ups. Dung-fu made a convincing spectacle as a Jesus impersonator. For tales on trail we discovered our visitor apple bobber shed blood on trail (also his 69th hash), puff almost killed a cat apparently, and summers yeast got a down down for some reason I missed (get over it I am not perfect). Dung-fu was thrilled that anyone ran his eagle trail since apparently this same trail happened before with no takers last year (apparently he does not learn his lesson). Let’s also give awful husband award to Just Foot Pussy who decided his wedding ring was already old and shitty enough to open beer bottles with (sorry Bacon Queef). And on that note Princess made it clear you wankers need to bring whistles and openers. When I was a “just” Accuprick called me out for asking people “do you have a thing?” [bottle opener was implied, or so I thought] so bring your own thing.
Some final announcements were made that next week is dress to the 69’s! Dress like its prom night and maybe you will get lucky! Also AGM is Nov 12th and its $25 at The Palomar. Finally the religion was just about done when dBased decided to leave his car (After sitting in it like a creeper for 15 minutes) and join the pack, obviously that warranted a down-down.
And saving the best for last, the karaoke at on-after was epic. Some solid singing and dancing all around. PCL perfected love shack, Electric labia land managed to find the longest song in the song book and everyone knew their place when it came to back-up dancers. Highlight: PCL knocked Electric labia down to the ground in a 4 person mosh pit brought about by Just foot pussy’s song choice, she is okay (other than PTSD that will surely come from the incident). I cannot wait to see what insanity next week’s hash will bring!
On-on,
Pussy Wood
This weeks meetup started at Brady’s Yacht club and pirate’s ruled the roost. I got questions about whether this was some sort of annual pirate day and had to explain we only dress up like pirates periodically, but drink somewhere every Thursday.
Trail started innocently enough towards Seabright beach. I figured a tour of the yacht harbor was in order, so as the pack headed down Cypress Ave, I paralleled on Seabright Ave, anticipating a left turn towards the yacht harbor. When I reached East Cliff and no trail appeared, I figured I would loop around and somehow connect back with the pack. It appears true trail crossed Murray at Mott, however I took Murray towards the boardwalk anticipating a river crossing there.
Trail at this point headed down Windsor, but I figured there was a 50/50 chance it would come back to Seabright, or least go to top of Yacht Harbor at Arana Gulch. So, I proceeded up Seabright, with a right on Soquel, then a right on Mentel into Arana Gulch. I encountered the pack again at the top of the Yacht Harbor.
As I encountered the pack, they were exiting the Yacht Harbor on Brommer. Taking Brommer had only one logical consequence to me – an eventual Yacht Harbor crossing On Murray. So, I am abandoned the pack for third time, and made my first good decision. I headed down the far side of the Yacht harbor and encountered a check just below the railroad tracks. Naturally, trail proceeded across the Yacht harbor on the railroad tracks.
At this point, it was basically a jaunt down the Yacht harbor and to Seabright beach. Apparently, Pink Cherry Licker and Electric Labia Land were on the cliffs above launching water balloons at the pack. Perhaps because I was a lone Hasher at this point, none were sent in my direction that I could decipher. It was a right turn on to the soft sand and another Liquor Check before the beer check. Apparently the Liquor Check was somehow initially buried in the sand, but the FRB’s unburied it by the time I got there.
Religious Adviser for the night was Dung Fu grip with a beer fairy that I cannot recall. We had down downs for our scribes who are failing to their duty of recent, for the three Hashers (Occasional Rapist, Just Paul and Shameless Butt Plug) who were reported the only 3 Hashers to do the trail completely and correctly and a ceremony around the return of Can’d Hashit that Dog Breath had stolen which required intimate body parts from all 4 Can’d Hashers in attendance. Then, 2 Black and White units showed up and it was time to get out of dodge.
I headed home at this point, but evidence 
from the Hash Flash indicates that a second naming opportunity for Just Lori resulted in Summer’s Yeast and that Just Heather become Ho to Housewife. I’ll note that Summer’s Yeast name somehow reminds me of Winters Bone. No, it’s not a porno. Look it up. It was nominated for 4 academy awards and had Jennifer Lawrence in it.
Hash 743 started from the hotel bar of The Dream Inn called Jack Oneil’s lounge. The Dream Inn will always be memorable for me as it’s where I consummated my current marriage. Of course it is quite nice, so I’ll probably never have an occasion to spend another night there.
While trail seemed to be commonly observed as a cluster fuck by the pack, I missed the fucked up part. There was a check in front of the wharf and a long ass false to Neptune’s Kingdom at the Boardwalk. I suspected the hares really meant Back Checked, so I headed up Cliff Street, then left on 2nd. I figured to hit trail somewhere by Depot Park. At Depot Park, I saw Hashers retreating on the railroad tracks. In my mind, this left one option open to the hares – take West Cliff Drive and return via Neary Lagoon. So, I took Neary Lagoon to where I had been the host for the hurricane check outside of Neary Lagoon for The Red Dress Run. No marks there, so I stuck my tail between my legs and took Bay back towards West Cliff, figuring to find trail somewhere along the way.
On this day, Puff decided if he had done it 12 years ago, he could do it again, and scrambled down the rocks to the stairs. All others retreated and looped around to West Cliff.
Rumor has it, beer check was inhabited by numerous mosquitoes. However, I have been in many places in the world where many people have been attacked by mosquitoes and I have felt none. So, I noticed none.
Pink Cherry Licker got her 69th Hash patch and she appeared to pickled pink about it.
The On-On-On was a South Beach Pizza. May the Hash go in Peace!
The Hares had a date with Santa Cruz Warriors and nothing was going to deter them. I honestly thought we might head straight to Kaiser stadium, have a beer check close by, and the hares would abandon us. Instead, the hares ran us in a 1.5 mile loop with beer check across the street from their house. They fooled a few, including me, by having beer check at some patio area instead of in the back parking lot.
I think what she really meant was 10. That happens when you Hash once a year. Before you go berating the length of this trail, I want to you to know the length of this trail was typical in old Surf City Hash days. Most of the trails we do these might have resulted in hare dismemberment. After the hares caught their breath, and soon after the pack arrived, they were off to see the Warriors. The Hasher who had the hardest time catching their breath was Nippleless Butt. He looked like had run 10 miles in the heat of the day. He did not recover unless Hugh Heffer offered him a dog bowl of water at religion.
The highlight of trail was when My Little Bony saw a horrific car accident and was forced to relieve his horrified eyes at the 007. This caused him to miss the beer check. Amazingly, no one else saw the car accident. He was rewarded for chivalry as well as being a backslider at religion.
This weeks’s anniversary was Timmy for his 420th hash, only a week or so after 4/20.