Monthly Archives: November 2011

Thoughts and Observations

Salutations Kennel Mates,

This will be Puff’s last communique with you, as a group anyway, hopefully for quite a while. I have again been deposed as Scribe though it’s obvious why I was replaced by attractive harriettes. (ALL Surf City harriettes, past, present and future, are Goddesses by the way) I don’t know what promises  were made to you but I guarantee they cannot live up to your fantasies. Be that as it may, in Puff’s continuing war on mediocrity, I wish to unleash some final thoughts on you pertaining to hashing in general and you jokers in particular.

The Hash is almost an Invisible Empire. Going through life unnoticed at best and ignored at worst, at least for the most part, emboldens us to be brazen. With the advent of the Internet though we can no longer claim to be Underground. I decry this commercialization, it threatens to reduce Hashing from what it SHOULD be, a subversive cultural force, to a mass-produced tranquilizing commodity. Sometimes I am numbed by the quantity of Hash-related material available to the mortal members of the general public. We have more friggin’ outlets that Starbuck’s. Continue reading Thoughts and Observations

Hash 605, AGM:Second hash of the year

Happy Birthday!

Albeit actually a week late. That’s okay, the fact we survived another year is enough for me. There were times this past year, with the pack in single digits, I feared for our continuation. But that’s all behind us now and year twelve is underway. Let’s look back over Trail 605 and the AGM. It’s much safer to do this now that it’s over and all the fines have been paid.

We began from the banquet room in the Palomar Hotel as we did last year. The herd was chomping at the bit by the time I arrived and it was making the wait staff more than a little nervous.

Soon Banana made his Instructions of Trail public and part of them included the fact Hugh Heifer would lead a walkers trail. More on those people later but for now let’s on-out with the runners. There was a check just outside the front door on Pacific Avenue and upon seeing it dBASED begins yelling Check! at the top of his lungs. Nearby mortals scurried for cover thinking he was a flipped-out homeless guy. Well, they were HALF right. Continue reading Hash 605, AGM:Second hash of the year

Hash 604-Quote Princess Di(arrhea):This trail was tragical!

Hello Faithful Reader,

This week I have absolutely nothing special planned for you. This is not completely due to the fact you are undeserving but more a direct result of the dreary hare-pair we were saddled with November tenth. The next day, Veterans Day, took on a new meaning to those of us that survived this fiasco. Allow me to elaborate.

We assembled our traveling kennel at venerable Windjammer in the Rancho del Mar shopping center in Aptos. That should tell you a lot about what the hares had in store for us. When you know your trail is substandard, always make the pack travel a long way from Santa Cruz. After making the jaunt this far from town, one may as well stay and do trail no matter how bad it is.

Accuprick delivered Instructions of Trail. Every time Accuprick hares, the great trail he promises manifests itself in a mirror-like symmetry as the exact opposite. As Accuprick talked, I noticed  co-hare TIMMY in the background trying to contain an outbreak of uncontrolled laughter. Accu made a casual gesture indicating trail would on-right from the Windjammer and then both hares disappeared. As I looked around during IoT, I noticed Thmp-Thmp squinting trying to understand what he was being told. I’ve never understood why he thinks narrowing his eyes will improve his comprehension. I eavesdropped on a conversation Vince Lamblowme was having. Vince, as many of you know, is Surf City’s resident inventor. He was speaking with Butt Balls wondering if he would have any interest in playing investment entrepreneur and bank Vince with any of his inventions. Here is an annotated list of what Vince has done for his fellow humans lately: a solar powered tanning booth, a wind powered fan, a cordless extension cord and a smoke detector with a built-in snooze button. Butt Balls was speechless. He did, however, decline Vince’s partnership offer. Fifteen minutes later, Banana Basher made the pack disappear from the bar and introductions were made. Continue reading Hash 604-Quote Princess Di(arrhea):This trail was tragical!

Hash 603:Only police intervention saved this hare from further embarrassment

The moon in the above picture was the only bright spot on Trail 603 and, as you can see, even IT was not especially illuminating. Somewhat reminiscent of hare Banana Basher’s Instructions of Trail I must say.

We assembled at the the Agnes Street entrance to Arana Gulch Greenspace hoping: rain, rain go away, come again some other day. Due to the fact Banana was our hare, we anticipated a small turnout. We were not disappointed either. After convincing Banana no one else was gong to show snout, he delivered his current version of IoT and outed himself up Mentel Avenue towards Soquel Avenue. Fifteen (or so) minutes later, TIMMY called for circleup and introductions were completed. We welcomed new fathers Mother’s Little Felcher and Spooge Bath-No Pants with a daughter and son respectively. Both will soon be attending a hash I’ve heard.

The pack sauntered on-up Mentel and encountered the evening’s first check near Soquel. Trail was located in the alley (of course) on-left to Hageman Avenue and on-right to Soquel where another check was discovered. After completing the unnecessary and dangerous crossing of Soquel, the pod plodded on-left to Marnell Avenue and then on-right. Let’s fast forward to a check at Parnell Street. Here a check was solved and the troops turned on-right. This seems far too soon (and much too nice) for our hare to head on-in. And it was. Halfway along the next block, flour forced the flock to on-left into one the the numerous alleys scattered throughout the area and, believe you me, Banana knows every damn one of them too. This seldom traveled trail was traversed it’s complete length to spit the school out onto Fairmount Avenue where an on-right had been chosen for us. Fairmount was taken to Park Way where, mercifully, an on-right was indicated. Park Way was used until reaching the medical buildings near Soquel where our horrible hare turned us on-right and on-down to the parking lot entrance at Soquel and Capitola Road. As bad as this trail is, something funny will happen here so let’s hide in the bushes and watch the one-man parade come by. Continue reading Hash 603:Only police intervention saved this hare from further embarrassment

AGM – November 17

SCH3 Annual General Meeting will be held on November 17, 2011.  It is our annual erection of new officers so please plan on attending.  If you have completed 5 SCH3 hashes in Year 11 (Nov 11, 2010 to Nov 3, 2011), you are eligible to vote.  If you wish to be an officer, send your name via email to bananabasher@yahoo.com by November 14, 2011.

Event info after the break…

Continue reading AGM – November 17