The gang gathered at Bocci’s Cellar, hare duo Twisted Fister and Fap Jack. There was a good turnout- Toga themed hash had almost everyone wearing a sheet! PCL watched a video on how to wrap a sheet, she helped a few hashers in need. We had virgins, visitors, backslider’s, and a naming! Trail I measured ~3.47 with a LC on the river levee at ~ 1 mile- now thats what I’m talking about. BC was at the end near religion. Another shitty long-ass trail b/t checks! But running in Toga’s was fun, we all made good” people”watching through downtown and over Hwy 1. See my map for where we went, www.mapmyrun.com/workout/667744877 . Religion Advisor was Accuprick, and Just Karee his beer fairy. Just Karee made virgin Paul cum.  She brought her canine buddy along too, both dogs sported a mini-togas. We had also another virgin named Tish, internet made her cum, apparently some friends of hers explained about the H3, so she emailed dBASED. Alas jokes we’re told, backslider’s drank (Accuprick, Deep Stroke and The Human Pube). We were mooned by Virgin Tish after she failed at her joke! Just Andrew whom admirely keeps cumming back was a racist, apparently he didn’t get the Toga memo and he was off by one night for the right themed hash! Just Marisol got a name! Welcome to the hash Bacon Queef. She might have told us a little too much information that night, so the name is very fitting if you were there! Twisted Fister got his 10th Hare patch-way to go Bro! And the hares!…….

More to follow for deets from W2B I wasn’t there the whole time so I’ll let other scribettes explain..

On on Occasional Rapist

Hash # 751 (AKA Another fucking D’BASED Obstacle Course)

For this trail, we met at Aptos St. BBQ.  Aptos is generally a bit of a nightmare to get to during rush hour traffic, but it was particularly difficult for the hashers coming over 17.  Highway 17 had been closed in both directions all day, so cheers to everyone who made it down there……eventually.  Apparently it is legal to drink on the sidewalk if there is a planter box.  So there we are.

The hares, D’BASED and Occasional Rapist took off in either direction.  Now I realize that the smart money would have been to follow Occasional, go through whatever false or backcheck we found, and continue on to find the rest of the trail.  But none of us is all that smart, so we followed D’BASED on true trail.  That led to a big ass hill down into the creek.  Here are Shallow Hole and TIMMY!!! going down the hill:

I did not choose to go down that path because I felt like it might lead to me being sad and broken, but but I could see down onto the creek and it looked like everyone was having tons of fun.  They looked especially overjoyed by the many creepy underpass tunnels they got to wade through.  Soooooo sorry I missed that part.  Also, there was lots of wading through the creek.

While all the cool kids were down mucking around in the creek, a few us found a parallel route and met back up with the trail where it came up under the overpass in a spot where Twisted Fister has set beer check a few times.  From there, trail headed back up toward Kauboi and we all realized how easy it would have been to shortcut.

Although we knew we were close  to where religion would be, trail pushed up the hill.  Would we go to Butt Balls’s house?  No.  It was another week of trudging down into Nicene Marks.  From there it was a series of increasingly difficult obstacles, punctuating a beautiful run up a dry creek bed.  We can thank the drought for not having to get our shoes wet again.  Here are some of the dangers that blocked out path:

There’s this one.

I feel like someone would ambush Indiana Jones here.

Then to get out, we had to climb out here.

After climbing out of the canyon, bruised but not defeated,we had to walk up, yet another, big-ass hill to make our way to beer check.  We enjoyed a well deserved beverage while getting strange looks from residents of the neighborhood.  Then down the hill for religion!

It was D’BASED’s birthday so there was a beautiful spread of meat, crackers, hummus, pita, chips, and other noms.  And Cupcakes! It was nice to have something besides the usual hash dinner.  It turned out to also be the birthday of Virgin Ray, another confused soul brought into the fold by Wicked.  He told a joke.  We tried to keep religion short, so there would be time to go have dinner at the BBQ place.  We did have a naming that night.  Because he is such a big wanker, his name is now…..Tiny Wanker.

This week the pack met up at the UCSC West remote parking lot.  We were at the mercy of TIMMY!!! and Pink Cherry Licker.  Surf City doesn’t hash at UCSC campus very often.  We’re suspects on their most wanted list since the infamous anthrax scare incident last September.    The cops drove through the parking lot a few times, but didn’t stop.  Aside from the usual Surf City suspects, we had one visitor.   Under Mother Fucker was the lone representative of the Can’d Hash.  Cum Pumper took a break from school and made the trek over the hill.  The weather this evening was splendid and everyone was in a particularly “cheerful” mood.  Accuprick was in a particularly cheerful mood.  He is now officially retired!  Congratulations you lucky bastard!  Cheerleading camp was taking place on campus and we could hear echoes of perky teenagers in the distance.  Puff The Magic Drag Queen was wishing he had a better zoom lens on his camera.  Mortal Enema was reminiscing of her days at cheer camp.  I was a band/drama geek and only went to band camp. It was held at our high school, so I didn’t get to travel anywhere.

It was a shiggylicious trail with some amazing views.  According to my GPS, it was a 4.2 mile loop.  We traversed through the forest, drank fireball whiskey, dodged huge piles of cow poop, ran with the deer through fields, climbed over a couple fences, crossed a log bridge over a dried up stream, saw an abandoned lime kiln, and were rewarded with beer!  Dung Fu Grip, Cum Pumper and I were the FRB’s.  Thmp-Thmp was a short cutter and arrived at beer check before the FRB’s.  dBASED ran 6.5 miles and who the fuck knows where he went.  When he didn’t show up at beer check, no one was worried.  He’s like a homing pigeon, he always finds his way.  Sure enough, we found him back at the start.

Religion was held in the woods next to the parking lot.   Accuprick was RA, and Mortal Enema was beer Fairy.  It was her first time and she started by trying to clean the cups!  LOL!  Just Alex was called up for blood and ticks on trail.  Dbased was punished for not being at the beer/liquor checks.  Hugh Heifer drank for posing for a photo pooping on cow poop.  Ask Princess Di (arrhea) if you want to see it.  It’s too pornographic for the hash trash.  Accuprick celebrated his retirement day!  Under Mother Fucker was welcomed as a visitor.   And last but not least, the Hares……………………..

See you tomorrow for the Wank Yer Doodle Weenie Roast at Brommer Street Park at 30th Ave. & Brommer St. in Santa Cruz.  We’re Americans God damn it!  We may be getting taxed to death, the Supreme Court is banning insurance coverage for contraceptives, but we can still celebrate our freedom to drink beer!  Thmp-Thmp & Princess Diarrhea have promised us weenies.

On On,

Shallow Hole