An Adventure in Hashing which collides with the annual Santa Cruz to Capitola Wharf to Wharf R*ce
That I shall torture you regaling tales of Wharf to Barf ’11. It’s Sunday now and most are happy to think back over the fun they’ve had or try and forget the stupid things they’ve done.
As usual we’ve invaded the mansion of Last Call Norm and Pearl Necklace. The driveway looks like the triage area after the crash of a Gamblers Special bus returning home from Las Vegas.
Banana Basher and Pearl Necklace deliver unnecessary as well as ignored Instructions of Trail and outed themselves. They disappear around the house and the herd returns to grazing. As this is a Montery Bay H3 Revival Hash, dBASED led the litter in a rousing round of Father Abraham. Upon completion of that duty, the pack mimicked the hares and rounded the house to find a check at Ocean View Avenue. Trail was located on-right and then we located a check at Broadway. Trail was discovered proceeding on-left on Broadway to a check at Pine Street. As long as we’re waiting for this check to be solved, everyone face the east and wave farewell to Norm. Sniffing along Broadway, Norm overran the check so far she found Friday’s trail. Furthermore, she did not discover her error until she reached Seabright Avenue and found marker pointing her towards Monterey Bay. The body of water, NOT the hash!
Meanwhile, back on TRUE trail, marker made the merry members of this madness on-left onto Pine Street and a block further on-left onto Hanover Street. Flour then fed us into the parking lot across Branciforte from Shoppers Corner. We were led across Soquel Avenue and then made an immediate on-left onto Soquel. An on-right was made into the driveway for Branciforte Plaza and we crawled into the parking lot at the rear of the building for Beer Check.
Once safely back across the street to Norm & Pearl’s, Religion was convened. As this is the annual Monterey Bay H3 Revival Hash, former MBH3 Religious Adviser dBASED assumed command. Here are a few of the tortures he inflicted upon an unassuming pack: Racists that did the Wharf to Wharf, Hot Wheels, Cumz Out My Nose, Mass Storage Device, Broke Bench Mountain, Goldie Coxxx, Broken Shaft and dBASED; Butt Barrier and Foot Loose for not leaving camp today; Norm for overrunning trail so far she ran into Friday’s trail; Foot Loose for assuming the position of Surf City Hostess with the Mostess; Tiny Whiny Bitch for foolishly saying he wasn’t going to drink today at all; Nosedozer for greeting three ladies on the pub crawl- Hello, skanks, furthermore Foot Loose heard them in the bathroom later talking about ‘the weird old guy with a cowboy hat on’; Cumz for smarting off to the RA; Pepto Pussy Pelt was initiated a second time; Banana Basher & Puff for being the only Surf City representatives on the pub crawl; Hairy Fuck 2.5 for snaring the hare but no one cared; Banana for spending Sunday morning helping an old lady rid her computer of a virus and Hot Wheels for the quote of the day made after trail: What was the point?
That seems a fixing end to Wharf to Barf ’11. However, in all truthfulness we all know the purpose of not only W2B but hashing in general: camaraderie. Well, okay. Drinking beer too. Preferably GOOD beer and a hell of a lot of it. See ya next year.
Puff the Magic Drag Queen