Hash 974 Get Your Feet Wet

Hash # 974

Hares: Cum You Will Not & Ho to Housewife
Start Humble Sea Brewery

Precarious crossing with precious cargo.Slowslow going…but we all made it safely across thanks to Curtesy Flush calmly guiding us over the narrow crumbling

The birds have it all figure out.






Much deserved beer check after the death defying trail.

Best sunsets here…so they say. These wankers are only interested in more beer.


Broke Bench still doesn’t get it that the Bash/Bike Hash was months ago. But he manages to rock that smug pose.


Visitors from Hawaii…not interested in our lousy sunsets.



Just Casey sucking up to Religious Adviser Accuprick. This is  her fifth hash but not with us, so she remains the property of the FHAC-U hash. They get to name her but maybe we can give them some intel.

Happy Hares and a well deserved Down Down.

Hash 973 Campus torture trail

hash 973

Death march disguised as a little outing.


Last minute emergency instructions on how to survive this annual death march. Oh never mind….no meeting at all….just trying get another cold one.







Hippie Chick Hugh determined to carry on despite finding out that all grass is not created equal!



Shallow leads the way showing what a great leader can do to motivate their pack when beer is nearby.




Here they come running.


Before Beer Check.






After beer check…..happy campers!




The divine Santa Cruz banana slug….moved out of harms way. Afterall it is our founders namesake.




Fireball wannabe whiskey????


too cheap and can’t afford the real stuff. That’s how we roll.

Up a creek without a paddle, a flashlight or more beer.

Fearless hare Timmy!!! pontificating pointlessly.

Vrigin Katie gets the last laugh as she fails to show a body part.

Look who crawled out from under a rock….Six O Nine. Thought his van was broken down….Never mind….no time for a War and Peace novel.

Pinky left her phone in the Uber. Cumz offered to be helpful. That’s what we are all about. And Hugh Heiffer got some quality time with her herd of cows in the pasture. Is everybody Happy??

On  On On,


Hash 972 Endless Birthdays and Beers

Hash 972….Gemini Birthdays continue…will this month ever end?

Occasional Rapist and Ho to Housewife getting psyched up for their big haring tonight. Occasional is deep in meditation and prayer…or maybe she just needs to release a little gas. It’s been a wild birthday month for these two.

A lovely backyard crowd.

Bakers delivers the chalk talk to Virgin  Emily.  Class is in session.



The sisters learn that the beers we buy are NOT twist off.

Bacon Queff takes matters into her own hands and manages to effortlessly open that darn beer bottle.

Emily has a history lesson overlooking the beach formerly known as “China Beach”, but she still seems to be a bit geographically challenged.


Beer check in the dreaded Poison Oak. Chivalry on trail as Shallow carries her new pooch.

Vag and Twister…..our resident backsliders, along with Steamy and Bacon Q.

Cum you will not gets yet another down down for failing to properly potty train her dogs. 

CumFartZone also had chivalry before trail for loaning CumYouWillNot an extra pair of trail shoes as hashing in flip flops is frowned upon. And she also gets to demonstrate the fine art of whistle blowing. Now please don’t get any ideas…..

Hippie – the rotating Beer Meister – complained of sand in the hash cups. GROSS. Please wash the crystal goblets for the hash royalty.


Analversaries – Cumz out My Nose celebrates her mega 275 hashes while Cum You Will Not squeaks by with 75 hashes…most of them in full costumes.

Puff was spotted wearing NEW SHOES!

Shallow inciting the crowd to sign up for wharf to barf. Get yer tickets and drink for 4 days in a row.

On On On




Hash 971 Cowboy up

This week we  celebrated the twin birthdays of Occasional Rapist and Ho to Housewife. Giddy Up Girlfriends.

And we didn’t have to hitch up the ponies cause the gals kept them close to their sweet spots.

And amazingly the Hippie traded in her tie-dye for some turn of the century woman of the evening attire. Guess they let the hookers off duty early tonight.


Some people got the costume memo and others felt that simply tying on a red handkerchief would suffice. Thankfully Cunt Jungle can pull it off.


Bakers Dozen’t rocked the fringe. Bet he had to get his 60’s swede jacket out of the mothballs.

Nevertheless he is styling…almost as much as when he is in his chef’s coat.




Need to be extra careful when rounding the corner…one false move would land you in the cactus patch. OUCH!!

Beer check at sunset overlooking the Bay is always a hit. Still….note the kilt at the “Cowboy” themed hash. They say kilts are so versatile.


Back at the “MT Bar” aka Wicked’s back yard, things heated up, especially around the fire pit.


Taco Tramp got called up for not doing trail, cause “she works for jerks”. Well, better late than never especially when you show up in sweats AND cowboy boots.

Then we had a naming for Just Evan. Now known as Jeppetophile.

Hash Analversieries included the ever so droll and witty Thump Thump with 325 and Accuprick racked up a mere 275. Get a Life~

Thank you Wicked for hosting us again.

On On On


Hash #970

Hash #970  Shallow and Fap’s Birthday Trail! GEMINI daydreams and nightmares by the twin troublemakers.

We all start at the Seabright Brewery with its dog friendly patio and happy hour prices to entice the hoards.
Who missed the water taxi?? Hmmm….. Broke Bench, Rat Pussy, Deadliest Snatch, Curtesy Flush,and Wicked Retarded. Guess it was easier to hang out at the Seabright dive bars then expend some actual energy to follow trail.
These wankers were busted for using Tech on Trail:
Broke Bench
Rat Pussy
Just Evan
They were all engrossed in the Warriors playoff game and being oh so disrespectful to the RA.
DBased and Cold Smegma simply can’t read. They completely missed the largest T&E split markings located at the bottom of a staircase marked in King Kong size letters. Better get an eye exam scheduled.
Snake me anywhere and Twat did you say had bathroom issues. Guess one of them needed a tampon but the other one wasn’t sure where to put it?? Anatomy lesson anyone?
We had virgin Courtney grace our circle. We had backsliders try to slink back into our good graces….Testi Coil, Hugh Heiffer, Organ Grinder,  and Just Evan.Unfortunately Virgin Mike did not make it to Religion…guess he  found the Blue Lounge  so seductive that he couldn’t be bothered to hang out with his new friends down on the beach.
Johnnie Cockring got lucky. Not one but two beach babes!
And so did our Birthday Girl, Shallow hole. She got to hare a shitty trail with lots of booze with her sidekick FapJack. What more could a girl want?

Hash Trash #968

I am simply amazed at all the happy and smiling folks who made it to the start at Pour Taproom. Especially after the grueling festivities of Red Dress. They must have put something in the water cause these people are so freakin happy!  Half of our pack now works at Pour…so you know they are living large, eating up all the grub and drinking the taps dry.

Out on the mean streets of Santa Cruz we assemble for yet another clusterf*ck.  Turns out there was a hare snare fiasco. Fap managed to escape but his buddy got caught. Cold Smegma didn’t get the memo that he needs not only to be lightening fast with this group but also stealthy. Key word is STEALTHY!!  .


The other half of the group who doesn’t work at Pour decided not to do trail and instead opted for Gorilla Sake Checks and other libations. To add salt to this festering wound, Cunt Jungle and Curtesy Flush also decide to have ice cream! They too have forgotten that this is supposed to be a hash not a 7th grade first date.

Meanwhile the rest of the halfminds try to outrun the homeless. Just another regular night in Santa Cruz.


At Religion Pinky was our demanding RA.

Turns out Timmy forgot the down down beer. Hmmmm.

Check and Dong spent way too much time inspecting bridges.

Bakers got busted lounging in the Red Room.

CumFartZone thinks she is a comedian with her musings about trail mix.

Broke Bench celebrated his 10th anniversary of Red Dress. And his wardrobe continues to expand along with his consciousness.

A few folks can’t follow simple rules: Wicked, Cold Smegma and Banana to name a few. Really should include the whole damn pack. You can see how exasperated Shallow is!

Banana mused about flour and we gave Dbased a down down for 800 hashes!

Well another wonderful hash is int he books despite all the rule breakers!


On On On